When you first get married, it’s unlikely that you imagine ever needing marriage counseling.
However, as you learn more about your spouse during the coming months and years, you may find that sticking to the promises you made on your wedding day becomes emotionally and mentally taxing.
To avoid sacrificing your marriage on the altar of divorce, it’s a good idea to give marriage counseling a try.
To make it as successful as possible, it’s important to approach marriage counseling in a positive light.
Here are a few things you and your spouse can do to get your money’s worth out of your counseling sessions.
Although it might be difficult and even embarrassing, it’s best to let a few trusted friends or family members know that you and your spouse are going to begin marriage counseling sessions.
Rather than seeing this step as a burden, see it as an opportunity to gain some key allies that can cheer you on when progress seems difficult to come by.
Expanding your team will give you a higher chance of success and give you more people to celebrate with when you experience a positive outcome.
Envisioning a positive future is a crucial part of successful marriage counselling.
If you begin your marriage counseling with the belief that it will be successful, then that outcome is far more likely than if you see the sessions as a detour on the way to an inevitable divorce.
Try to dream with your spouse about the positive changes you’ll see in each other, both individually and as a couple, so that you can find something to get excited about.
You can turn some of these hopes into goals that you can share with your marriage counselor.
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Another fallacy to avoid is seeing counseling as a failure in your marriage. Being willing to seek counseling shows that you’re committed to your marriage and want to see it succeed.
You and your spouse are not the first couples to ever need counseling, and you won’t be the last.
Seeing counseling as a sign of strength and humility will help you see your counselor as an ally you can trust instead of an enemy interrupting your life.
If you want your counseling to be successful, it’s essential to make adequate time in your schedule for the counseling sessions.
Being willing to carve out time in your life to attend counseling will show your spouse that you’re committed to the process, thus giving them a more positive attitude about the counseling sessions.
That’s why it’s crucial to find a counseling service that can work around your busy schedule so that you can minimize the impact on your most important responsibilities.
Also, now there are plenty of apps and platforms that allow you to schedule counseling sessions online, which makes it a lot easier to make time for it.
There will be times during your counseling process when progress will come quickly. Other times, though, it might feel like you’re barely inching forward.
At all times throughout your counseling sessions, it’s important to reward yourself when you see victories in your marriage.
In case you’re interested, I’ve recently come across an interesting article about more than 30 ways to reward yourself.
Even something simple, like a trip with your spouse to get ice cream, can offer the positive reinforcement that your brain craves so that you continue to have a positive outlook on the counseling.
Just because something you learn during counseling works one time doesn’t mean it will stick with you. That is, of course, unless you keep practicing it in your relationship.
Continually applying what you learn and enjoying the success of those efforts will create a positive feedback loop that will keep you engaged and upbeat during the counseling process.
Of course, if something isn’t working, make sure to note the issue so that you can discuss it with your counselor.
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Your marriage is worth fighting for. Don’t give up on your marriage or your marriage counseling, even if it sometimes feels hopeless.
When you reach the end of the counseling process, you’ll be able to look back, see all you accomplished, and feel proud that you put in the effort to save something worth saving.
This positivity will benefit you in other areas of your life, transforming who you are in the process.