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7 Signs She’s Losing Interest And What You Should Do

It’s not always easy to understand what’s on a woman’s mind. However, at least learning to understand the signs she’s losing interest can help you do the right thing to save your relationship.

Relationships are not always simple. Nope.

Sometimes they start off great, sometimes they last long, and some other times the spark slowly fades.

Most of the times it’s a matter of compatibility.

What happens sometimes is we think our partner is becoming distant because they feel worried for things that have nothing to do with our relationship. However, that is not always the case.

In fact, sometimes, if someone has become particularly aloof or withdrawn with us, it might be a clue they are losing interest.

Is She Losing Interest? Here Are a Few Signs

In this section we are going to talk in detail about some signs she might be losing interest in the relationship.

Why listen to me? I’m Sira Mas and I’m a relationship coach. I write about self-improvement, love, dating and psychology. My work has been featured on large publications such as Mamamia, Plenty of Fish, Ladders, Entrepreneur and Thrive Global.

1. She seems to never have time for you

If she seems to be always busy and can never make time for you, it’s usually not a good sign.

This is true especially if this behavior has been going on for weeks or even months and has nothing to do with her career or studies.

Does she often change plans last minute? Do you feel like she is avoid spending time with you? Are you seeing each other much less than before?

Ask yourself these questions and be honest.

If someone is truly into you, they want to spend quality time with you and they make time for you, no matter how busy they are.

How to deal with that

If she makes you feel like you’re the last of her priorities, don’t make her your priority.

Plan that trip with your friends, go to that company party, have fun, and make yourself your first priority.

Focus on yourself.

If you see her behavior has become a consistent pattern and things don’t change, walk away from that relationship.

You deserve someone who craves quality time with you – instead of avoiding it.

2. She avoids your calls and texts

This is one of the most common signs she’s probably losing interest.

We are all busy, and it’s not fair to expect someone to reply to our texts immediately. However, if a woman is consistently avoiding your texts or is always replying after hours, something is probably not right.

If she used to reply to your texts in a reasonable amount of time (30 minutes, one hour, two hours) and you recently noticed a shift in her behavior (she now replies after seven or eight hours), that’s a red flag.

A woman who’s genuinely into you won’t avoid your texts or calls.

If she’s busy, she’ll call you back or will text you back as soon as she can.

If she makes you wait for more than six hours she:

  • Might be on a flight;
  • Is avoiding you because she’s losing interest;
  • Is playing games (which is even worse).
couple struggling, distant woman
Featured image: Goran13 via iStock

How to deal with that

Be honest. Tell her you have noticed a change in her behavior and that you feel avoided. See how she responds.

If she was really busy, her behavior was unintentional, and she cares about you, she’ll do something about it.

And that will be a sign of emotional maturity.

If she tells you it’s all in your mind, denies the facts and her behavior doesn’t change, that’s a big red flag. And maybe you should consider to walk away from that relationship.

3. She doesn’t include you in her plans

She always included you in her plans. Now she doesn’t.

She now plans her weekends and summer trips with her friends, but no longer with you. She goes to events and parties alone and doesn’t invite you.

These behaviors clearly indicate that she’s either playing games and looking for a reaction or she’s just losing interest in you.

And both things indicate you’re in a relationship with the wrong person.

How to deal with that

She’s avoiding you. Treat yourself with respect and walk away.

4. She’s not affectionate anymore

Again, like for the previous signs, you should focus on the change in her behavior and on the current pattern.

If she was always affectionate with you and now her behavior has clearly changed, it’s probably a sign she’s losing interest.

Especially if she’s been behaving differently for more than a just a few days. If she’s been avoiding you for weeks – or even worse, months – that’s not a good sign.

How to deal with that

The best thing you can do is to talk to her and tell her you feel avoided.

Like we mentioned before, see how she responds.

She might have had other things going on and her lack of affection had nothing to do with you

5. She flirts with other people

This is probably one of the clearest signs she’s losing interest in the relationship.

An emotionally mature woman who genuinely cares about you and wants to build a long-term relationship with you, doesn’t flirt with other people. Period.

If she flirts with other people – whether you’re there with her or not – it’s a huge red flag.

How to deal with that

Be honest. Tell her you find her behavior disrespectful and inappropriate.

Tell her you can’t be in a relationship with someone who behaves like that. Then, walk away.

You deserve someone who is loyal to you and who would never behave like that.

If she comes back, apologizes, saying she understood her mistake and learned the lesson, it’s reasonable to give her a second chance.

However, make sure she understands you won’t tolerate any disrespectful behavior going forward.

6. She never initiates contact

Someone who cares about you will initiate contact at least 40% of the time.

If she never calls or texts you, there might be a problem.

She’s either playing games – which again, is a huge red flag – or she’s not that into you.

How to deal with that

Try to initiate contact less and see how she responds.

Then talk openly with her about that. Tell her you noticed you are always the one to initiate contact and you’d like to see more effort from her side too.

And see how she reacts. In a situation like this, an emotionally mature partner who cares about the relationship would listen to your concern and adjust their behavior.

Someone who’s not that interested instead, won’t do anything.

If nothing changes, you shouldn’t treat this person as a priority anymore.

7. You don’t have deep conversations anymore

If you feel she now avoids deep, intimate conversations – while she didn’t before – it may be a sign she’s losing interest in the relationship.

Obviously, this doesn’t mean you should be having deep conversations all the time.

However, if all your interactions have become shallow in the last few months, it may be a sign something is not right.

How to deal with that

Again, be honest and open about what you have noticed and how that makes you feel.

Let her know you noticed you used to have deeper conversations before and that now things have clearly changed. Tell her you miss that.

And see how she responds.

Again, if she gaslights you and tells you it’s all in your head, you should probably consider the option of walking away.

You can’t build a healthy relationship with a gaslighter.

If she listens to you and does her best to address your concern, it’s a good sign.

What You Should Do

If you see many of the signs we’ve mentioned and you feel like the spark is fading, here’s what you can – and should – do.

1. Give her space

When a woman tells you with her behavior that she needs to be alone, give her space.

It’s the best thing you can do for her and most importantly for yourself.

Don’t be the desperate guy trying to get her attention back. Be the emotionally mature and independent guy who makes his mental health and happiness his own priorities.

2. Focus on yourself and give her the chance to miss you

By giving her some space and focusing on yourself, you’ll also give her the chance to miss you.

This doesn’t mean to go radio silent. Just to focus more on your life than on her, contact her less, be less available to hang out with her and let her have the space and time she needs.

See, she’s used to have you always there, to receive your texts, to receive your calls and to hang out with you whenever she wants.

Let her see what’s like to be without you for a few days. That’s not to manipulate her, it’s to give her the chance to miss you – and to realize that she actually wants to be with you (if she does).

3. Be willing to walk away

If you give her space and do everything right but she keeps you treating you poorly, she’s not the right person for you. And you should let her know that you’re willing to walk away.

Being willing to walk away from a relationship that doesn’t make you happy means that you love yourself enough that you no longer tolerate disrespect.

It means your happiness is your number one priority and that if someone treats you poorly you stop spending time with them.

As psychologist Mark Travers Ph.D. wrote on Psychology Today, one of the best things you can do if your partner is withdrawing from the relationship is choosing yourself.

Also, if you are willing to walk away – and you do if you need to – she will probably respect you more.


To wrap up, these are the main and clearest signs she’s losing interest:

  • She doesn’t make time for you.
  • She avoids your texts and calls.
  • You noticed she doesn’t include you in her plans anymore.
  • You feel she’s not as affectionate as before.
  • She flirts with other people.
  • She never initiates contact.
  • You don’t have deep conversations anymore.

And here’s what you should do if she’s losing interest and treating you poorly:

  • Give her space;
  • Focus on yourself and give her the chance to miss you;
  • Talk to a therapist;
  • Be willing to walk away.

Featured image: Goran13 via iStock


Friday 14th of July 2023

My situation right now. Think I'll just follow your advice.

The Truly Charming