If you’ve ever been with a narcissist, you know how much they thrive on control. You know how much their emotional abuse hurt.
They manipulate, belittle, and drain your energy just to boost their fragile ego. But what they don’t expect is for you to see through their manipulation and abuse, and then walk away, heal and become stronger.
The best way to make a narcissist regret mistreating you isn’t through revenge or playing their games—it’s by reclaiming your happiness, confidence, and independence.
When they see you thriving, completely unaffected by their presence (or absence), that’s when they start to regret losing you.
Here are twelve powerful strategies to make them realize they lost someone they could never truly break.
Why listen to me? I’m Sira Mas and I’m a relationship coach. I write about self-improvement, love, dating and psychology. My work has been featured on large publications such as Mamamia, Plenty of Fish, Ladders, Entrepreneur and Thrive Global.
Have an Active Social Life
Narcissists hate feeling irrelevant. And for me one of the best ways to make them regret mistreating you is to show them that your life is fulfilling and happy. That you’re surrounded by supportive people who actually care about you.
They hate that.
So, go out, engage in hobbies, and enjoy your life. Share photos and videos on social media. Let them see that. But make sure you don’t overdo it.
If you constantly post pictures just to make them jealous, they’ll see right through it and assume they still have power over you.
So, keep it natural. Let them see that you’re genuinely enjoying your life without them. Narcissists can’t stand the idea of losing control, and when they realize they no longer have power over you, it eats away at them.
So, the best revenge? Living a life so good that they become a forgotten chapter of your past.
Hire a Relationship Coach or Go to Therapy
One thing narcissists never expect is for you to heal and grow beyond them. Seeking professional help, whether it’s a relationship coach or a therapist, is one of the smartest things you can do.
It helps you process the emotional damage they caused and rebuild your confidence.
Therapy helps you regain control of your life by making sure they never have the power to manipulate you again.
And when a narcissist realizes that their mind games no longer work on you, it drives them crazy. They thrive on control, so seeing you become stronger and more self-aware is the ultimate punishment.
Also, working with a professional coach gives you tools to handle future interactions with toxic people. It’s not just about making them regret—it’s about making sure no one like them ever takes advantage of you again.
Expose Them
Narcissists live off their reputation. They create an image (fake) of themselves as charming, successful, or caring individuals. And that image is so important to them.
But behind closed doors, they’re entirely different people. And you probably already know this.
One of the most effective ways to make them regret abusing you is to expose their true nature.
Now, this doesn’t mean engaging in petty revenge. What I’m talking about is to assertively share your truth. Whether it’s through mutual friends, social media, or simply refusing to cover for their lies, letting people see who they really are. And how they treat you when you’re alone.
Doing this is enough to make them panic.
Narcissists fear exposure more than anything. Trust me. Because their power relies on keeping their victims silent. When they realize they can no longer control the narrative, they’ll regret ever crossing you.
Learn to Respond to Their Manipulation
A narcissist expects you to react emotionally. That’s how they control you. But when you learn to recognize their tactics and respond strategically, they lose their grip.
For example, if they try to gaslight you by saying, “I never said that,” instead of arguing, you calmly reply, “I remember exactly what happened, and I’m not going to discuss this with you now.”
If they guilt-trip you with, “After everything I’ve done for you,” respond with, “Oh, I didn’t realize kindness required payback.”
The goal is to stay composed and let them see that you see through them. The moment they realize their tricks don’t work on you anymore, they’ll regret underestimating you.
Set Firm Boundaries (And Enforce Them)
Narcissists test limits constantly. They push, manipulate, and disregard boundaries because they believe rules don’t apply to them. Because they feel entitled.
If you’ve ever tried setting a boundary with a narcissist, you know they don’t take it well. They will guilt-trip, gaslight, or even throw tantrums to make you change your mind or feel guilty. Sounds familiar?
So one of the best way to make them regret mistreating you? Set boundaries…and actually enforce them. This means saying “no” and sticking to it. It means cutting off conversations when they become toxic. It means refusing to let them back into your life just because they suddenly miss you.
When they see they can no longer control you or manipulate you into breaking your own rules, they’ll regret losing their grip.
Boundaries don’t just protect you; they show the narcissist that their power over you is gone. Completely gone.
Go No Contact
If you truly want to make a narcissist regret abusing you, disappear from their life. No texts, no calls, no checking their social media, nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Narcissists thrive on knowing they still have access to you, even if it’s just through arguments or mind games.
Going no contact sends a clear message: they are no longer important. And that kills them inside. They’ll do everything they can to provoke a reaction, from sending random messages to trying to get a reaction through mutual friends.
Going no contact is essential for your healing, happiness, and peace of mind. It allows you to break free from their control, regain emotional clarity, and start building a peaceful life without their toxicity.
The longer you stay away, the more you’ll realize how much better and lighter life feels without them draining your energy.
Build a Successful and Happy Life
Narcissists hate to see their victims thrive without them. They want to believe they’ve broken you, that you’ll never be the same after them. But when you focus on rebuilding your life, your career, your health, your relationships, it completely destroys that illusion.
Your success is the one thing they can’t take credit for.
They’ll watch from a distance, realizing that while they tried to tear you down, they only made you stronger.
Instead of wanting revenge, use their mistreatment as motivation. Turn their abuse into fuel for your success, and let them watch as you become everything they never wanted you to be: independent and unaffected by them.
Date Someone Who Actually Values You
Nothing makes a narcissist regret their behavior more than seeing you with someone who treats you right.
Narcissists rely on the idea that you’ll never find someone as “amazing” as them. They actually believe that. Which, I know, it’s ridiculous.
But when they see you in a happy, healthy relationship, it shakes them to the core.
However, don’t rush into a new relationship just to make them jealous. Instead, take your time, heal, and find someone who truly respects and appreciates you. Date different people, but make sure they all respect you. Then, when you feel it’s the right moment to do that, choose.
Once a narcissist realizes they’ve been replaced by someone who treats you the way they never could, they’ll feel it. They’ll feel the pain.
Because they may not know what empathy is, but trust me, they know negative emotions like pain, anger and frustration very well.
Stop Seeking Their Validation
Narcissists abuse you because they want control. But what happens when you no longer care about their approval? They lose their power.
Many people spend years trying to “prove” to a narcissist that they’re worth loving. But the biggest flex? Realizing you never needed their validation in the first place.
The moment you stop craving their attention or caring about what they think, they start to regret losing the influence they once had. They need people to need them, but when you walk away with your confidence intact, they’re left with nothing.
Set Firm Boundaries (And Enforce Them)
Narcissists test limits constantly. They push, manipulate, and disregard boundaries because they believe rules don’t apply to them. If you’ve ever tried setting a boundary with a narcissist, you know they don’t take it well. They will guilt-trip, gaslight, or even throw tantrums to make you cave.
The best way to make them regret mistreating you? Set boundaries—and actually enforce them. This means saying “no” and sticking to it. It means cutting off conversations when they become toxic. It means refusing to let them back into your life just because they suddenly miss you.
When they see they can no longer control you or manipulate you into breaking your own rules, they’ll regret losing their grip. Boundaries don’t just protect you; they show the narcissist that their power over you is gone.
Rebuild Your Self-Worth
One of the most powerful ways to make a narcissist regret mistreating you is to reclaim your self-worth. Narcissists break people down so they can control them, making their victims feel unworthy and unlovable.
When you start to see your true value again, you take away their power.
Rebuilding your self-worth means speaking kindly to yourself, setting boundaries, and reminding yourself daily that you deserve respect and love. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and engage in activities that reinforce your strengths and capabilities.
Walk Away for Good
The ultimate way to make a narcissist regret abusing you? Disappear from their world forever.
Narcissists expect you to come back. They thisnk you’ll always give them another chance, that they can worm their way back into your life whenever they please. The moment they realize that’s never going to happen, they panic.
When you walk away for good, without explanations, without closure, you take away the thing they fear the most: losing control over you. Which they hate…well, you know that.
They’ll regret mistreating you the moment they realize they can never have access to you again. And by that time, you won’t even care anymore.
Final Thoughts
Narcissists only realize what they’ve lost when they no longer have access to it. But by the time they regret what they did, you’ll be too far ahead in life. You’ll have moved on.
The best way to handle this is to not care about it at all. Instead of seeking validation from someone who tried to break you, redirect that energy into building a life you love. For example, by focusing on your career and growing professionally.
True healing happens when you stop looking back and start embracing your future.
Making a narcissist regret abusing you means focusing on your own healing and taking your power back. The more you focus on healing and living a fulfilling life, the more they’ll realize they lost someone they could never truly break.
By the time they regret it, you’ll be too busy living your life to even care.