Brenda Wade is a relationship psychologist, keynote speaker, and relationship expert for Online For Love. The following is the second interview of our Dating Advice Series, featuring Brenda.
1. Tell us about yourself (your background, what you do, what makes you stand out as a therapist, etc.).
My name is Dr. Brenda Wade and I am a nationally recognized relationship expert, best-selling author of four books on love, and a practicing psychologist and founder of the Modern Love and Relationship Training Programs.
I was a frequent guest on Oprah, The Today Show, and other talk shows, news programs, and specials. I am currently the relationship expert for the Dr. OZ show.
I’ve also been quoted in major publications including Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, Shondaland and Essence.
I combine current real science with psychology, personal evolution, growth and self-awareness. If you are not evolving as a person, your relationships can’t evolve.
2. What do you think about dating apps?
They are the modern day version of your old fashioned matchmaker or yenta. They are not all created equal. The ones that allow for a deeper dive into alignment of interests, values can be helpful.
3. What are some tips you would give to someone who has to go on a first date?
Know who you are, what you want and leave a little space for the universe to support you. When I say support, I mean the universe to surprise you.
Not all packages that look good on the outside have the good you are seeking on the inside.
Packages that look different then what you are looking for can be full of surprises. Approach the first date with open mindedness and curiosity.
4. What are some great conversation starters for a first date? Why?
I would start by asking the following questions to each other.
- What is the most interesting thing you have learned recently?
- What is the most fun thing you have done recently?
- If you wanted to share with me something about yourself that is really important, what would it be?
These questions are open-ended and allow for further exploration and connection. Mind you, you both have to answer the same questions. The key is curiosity but keep it light.
5. What are some great texts someone can send after a first date? Why?
Send a quote from your favorite author.
Send a light hearted joke and above all, express your appreciation that this fellow human being, on a quest for love, has chosen to spend some time with you.
Quotes and jokes allow you to reveal more of yourself. Bringing gratitude into any interaction is a way of honoring yourself and the other person. Gratefulness is one of the 12 powers of the heart.
6. What are some original date ideas? What’s your dating advice on this?
Go to public library together and browse the book sections that are the greatest interest to you and to the other person.
Bring your favorite book and ask your potential date to bring their favorite book and each read a passage to each other.
7. How long should someone wait before entering a more serious relationship with someone?
It is not a question of waiting; it is a question of what you do with the time.
If you spend the time gently getting to know one another, being honest about what is working and also what you could work on together. Hold off on sex.
The minute you have sex with someone if you are a woman, you secrete oxytocin and you bond.
8. In your opinion, what are some personality traits men find irresistible in women?
Usually humor and kindness. Men are usually more visual, so they have more of a tendency to look at women’s looks.
9. In your opinion, what are some personality traits men find irresistible in men?
Usually it is the strength of character and looks are very high on the list.
10. In your option, what are some personality traits women find irresistible in men?
It is usually humor and kindness.
11. How can people find you?
12. Do you have a book/online course/app you would like our readers to know about?
We include all of our trainings on our social media sites and also on our website: https://www.drbrendawade.com/.
I have also written several books and they are for sale on Amazon.com. We will be releasing some new books this year.
It was amazing having you as guest of our dating advice series, Brenda. Thank you for your time!