In this article we will talk about the early signs you met the one.
We all dream of it. We all dream about finding our perfect match, our soul mate.
At least once in our life, we all met that person we hoped — and believed — was the one, only to realize later we were just projecting our idea of perfect partner onto someone we barely knew.
Finding someone compatible with us can be hard. Really hard.
That’s why we go through difficult relationships. We all experienced that at least once in our life.
Being incompatible is easier than finding someone we are truly compatible with.
“Maybe that’s what love was, finding the person who brings out the best in you and eliminates the worst.”― Diana Holquist
Early Signs You’ve Met the One, According to Experts
When you meet someone, and you two are meant to be together — that is, you are a great match and there is potential for a healthy and long-lasting relationship — you will probably see a few signs, which I like to call green flags.
What follows are ten signs you met the one.
1. You share the same values
As Jay L. Serle LMFT, Ph.D. mentions, sharing the same values is key to a healthy and long-lasting relationship. For example, you both believe in the importance of family, you believe in monogamy, and don’t tolerate infidelity.
Or you both believe in the importance of leaving others free to express their opinion and make their own choices.
When you and your significant other are aligned on your core values, there is good potential for a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
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2. Your life is going in the same direction
This means you two are basically following the same path — or a very similar one.
For example, you both want to work remotely or you both want to travel a lot, so you are working towards achieving the same lifestyle.
Or maybe you both want to live in the same city, grow professionally, and raise a family. You are both looking for stability.
Whatever your ideal life is, you have the same idea of a fulfilling life path. And this is one of the most important signs you met the one.
3. You have some passions in common
As psychotherapist Jason Shiers mentions, “if you find that you have a lot in common with the person you’re dating, that’s a strong indication that you’re on the right track. If you can’t find anything to talk about, it may be a sign that your relationship isn’t as close as you’d like it to be.”
Having a hobby or passion in common is great for a relationship. It adds that spark we all look for — especially at the beginning.
If you love the same music genre and go together to concerts, or you play the same instrument, it can be great for the relationship.
If you play different instruments and love to make music together, even better, you complement each other in your passions.
Another example of this is loving the same sport. Do you both love football? Do you both dance? Awesome.
Spend time doing something exciting together. Go watch a football match together or prepare for a dance competition.
However, remember it’s also good if, in addition to sharing some passions, you have your own hobbies and spend some time apart too. In fact, this is essential in a relationship.
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4. You are strongly attracted to each other
You have the feeling that time flies when you are together, and can’t get enough of each other.
There is that undeniable spark between the two of you you can’t quite explain.
And everything feels easy between the two of you. You both feel that you are the best version of yourselves when you are together.
Recommended read: Signs a Guy Likes You a Lot – 15 Ways to Know if He’s Truly Into You
5. There is no emotional dependence
The relationship feels amazing, yet you don’t need each other to feel complete.
You spend time together but you also have your own space.
You regularly build some healthy distance that allows you to spend some time apart and pursue your own dreams.
This means you are both emotionally mature individuals who can be on their own and support each other at the same time.
Now, this is true, mature love.
6. You complement each other
Perfect is not when compatible people are together. It’s when you’re both opposite’s but in that way you complete each other.— Unknown
One of you might be obsessively tidy and punctual, while the other one is always messy and arrives late everywhere.
While this might sound as a recipe for disaster from the outside, these differences might actually help you learn from each other and eventually make the relationship balanced.
In a relationship like this, the tidy person can learn not to be excessively obsessed with tidiness and perfection in everything.
On the other hand, the messy person learns to be a bit tidier and starts to be on time and respect deadlines.
They say opposites attract, and it’s often true.
See, relationships are not only meant to make us happy but also to find that person that complements us and makes us grow.
If you think about it, it’s difficult to grow with someone who is exactly like us, there’s no challenge.
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7. The relationship is simply healthy
Also, you always make an effort to see your partner smile and they do the same with you. The relationship is built on mutual trust, unconditional love, and respect.
Also, you and your partner always maintain a sense of humor and don’t make a big deal out of small, trivial stuff.
8. Intelligence and willingness to learn new things
As therapist Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. explains, your partner doesn’t need to be a member of Mensa or a mathematical genius, but look for enough intelligence, curiosity and willingness to learn new things, so that you can respect and admire each other.
“There are several kinds of intelligence, from school learning to independent education by reading, working, traveling, and life experiences. An airhead who looks good and may be fun to play with, will not keep you interested for long. A date who is not interested in learning and growing intellectually may not be able to keep up over the long haul,” says Tessina.
9. Healthy history of relationships (not perfect, just normal)
Obviously, if you’re not their first partner and they’re not yours, your relationship history will probably not be perfect.
As Tessina mentions, what counts is whether your date has learned from the problems, confronted his or her own weaknesses and shortcomings, and grown as a result of the setbacks.
“If your date is willing to talk openly about his or her past relationships, and can explain what went wrong and how he or she is learning to correct the problems, the difficulties in past relationships can be an asset rather than a liability. If your date expresses a willingness to seek counseling in the event that problems should occur, score that in his or her favor,” explains Tessina.
10. You feel a sense of safety and security in their presence
As psychologist Raffaello Antonino explains, “One sign you have found the right person for you is you feel a sense of safety and security in their presence. When you’re with this person, you feel comfortable being yourself and sharing your vulnerabilities without fear of judgment or rejection.”
If this doesn’t happens only during the early phase of your relationship, but keeps happening for a long period of time, it usually means that you have found someone who accepts and loves you for who you are and is committed to supporting you through life’s ups and downs.
“You can tell from this that this person is a keeper because feeling safe and secure in a relationship is crucial for long-term happiness and fulfillment. When you feel comfortable being yourself around your partner, you’re more likely to build a strong emotional connection, communicate openly and honestly, and work through challenges together. This creates a foundation of trust and intimacy that can withstand the test of time,” adds Antonino.
Recommended read: What Is a Platonic Soulmate? 17 Signs You’ve Found Yours
Finding a great match is possible.
Some of the most important signs you met the one and there is potential for a healthy relationship are:
- You share the same values;
- Your life is going in the same direction;
- You have passions in common;
- You are strongly attracted to each other and you feel the need to spend time together;
- There is no emotional dependence;
- You complement each other;
- Your relationship is truly healthy;
- They seem to have common sense and willingness to learn new things;
- They have a healthy history of relationships;
- You feel a sense of safety in their presence.
Ultimately, it’s essential to keep in mind that only when you deeply love yourself and feel complete before finding your perfect match, there is potential for a long-lasting and healthy relationship.
“It is not until you rhyme with a person that makes you their perfect match, it is when you are satisfied with each other’s peculiarities, and find jewels in their loopholes.”― Michael Bassey Johnson
Why listen to me? I’m Sira Mas and I’m a relationship coach. I write about self-improvement, love, dating and psychology. My work has been featured on large publications such as Mamamia, Plenty of Fish, Ladders, Entrepreneur and Thrive Global.