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How to Become a Sigma Male: 11 Steps

“How can I become a sigma male?” This is a question we receive a lot. So we decided to write a detailed article about this specific topic.

As we mentioned in this guide, the sigma male is the lone wolf of the social hierarchy. His claim to fame is the fact that he doesn’t just stay in his assigned place. Although the alpha is considered the top of the social food chain, the sigma can hold that position just as easily without even trying. This makes his persona valuable and one many try to emulate. 

While social hierarchies are considered pseudoscience, it’s useful for understanding social roles and how you fit into them. Luckily, anyone can cultivate the attributes of a sigma. 

11 Steps to Become Like a Sigma Male, Explained By a Former Therapist

There are at least 11 steps along your journey to become more like a sigma. Each of these steps is essential for cultivating this highly valued persona. No matter where you start in the social hierarchy, you can rise to the heights of a sigma man with these characteristics. 

Why listen to me? I’m Crystal Jackson and I was a master’s level licensed therapist. I worked with couples and individuals and specialized in trauma recovery and empowerment. I now write content about relationships, self-improvement, and psychology. My work has been featured in large publications such as Elite Daily, Your Tango, Positively Positive, and Mamamia.

1. Compete Only with Yourself

The sigma male is not competitive with other people. He competes only with himself. He wants to improve upon his own performance, but he’s not comparing himself to others.

If you want to be more like him, stop trying to beat the performance of others and learn to base your sense of success on your personal achievements alone. 

The sigma guy isn’t scrolling social media and comparing himself with others. He’s not jealous of other men’s skills, successes, or abilities. He just wants to be the best version of himself. 

2. Remember That What Other People Think of You is None of Your Business

To truly embody the personality of the sigma, it’s important to remember that what other people think of you is none of your business.

The sigma male isn’t concerned about external validation. He’s too busy living his life according to his own values. It’s impossible to be a sigma and care a lot about what other people think of you.

The sigma man lives authentically, and he’s not worried about impressing people on social media or showing only the highlights of his life. He’s not trying to cultivate an image. It’s not an act. He understands that other people are entitled to their opinion, and it just doesn’t impact him.

3. Strive for Excellence, Not Dominance

If you want to learn to become a sigma male, strive for excellence rather than dominance. Life is not about winners and losers. If you do your best, it’s good enough. 

While the alphas are trying to climb to the top of the ladder and everyone else is positioning themselves along it, the sigma isn’t climbing. He’s minding his own business and focusing on the quality of anything that he undertakes. He takes pride in his work, but he’s not trying to outshine anyone else. In fact, he’s just as happy to shine the light on other people’s excellence as he works to improve his own. 

4. Advocate for Equality

It’s impossible to embrace both bigotry and the sigma man lifestyle. Sigma males advocate for equality. They aren’t shouting “America First” or pushing some egocentric agenda.

They have a sense of justice — including social justice. And they understand that the world doesn’t have an even playing field, but they do their part to champion equality for all. 

Sigma males are often the changemakers who push for progress. They don’t think like everyone else, and they have no interest in furthering systemic oppression of any kind.

In relationships, they want equal partners, not subservience. In work, they want a team and not a group of lemmings. The sigma man sees everyone as his equal even as he rises into leadership positions. 

5. Learn to Collaborate Rather Than Delegate

The sigma male doesn’t just sit in a corner office and delegate the real work. He tends to collaborate with his colleagues to find solutions.

He understands that everyone has strengths and using those is the smartest way to get things done. The sigma man isn’t trying to exercise control and flaunt his authority. He’s a good team player even when he prefers to work alone. 

6. Learn to Enjoy Your Own Company

Another necessity of developing the sigma male personality is to learn to enjoy your own company. Sigma men tend to be introverted.

Extroverts may need to cultivate a few introverted traits to fall in line with the sigma mentality. Learn to be alone and not need social interaction or an audience all the time. As you begin to enjoy your own company, you’ll be better positioned to be truly independent, like the sigma male. 

People are all the time telling introverts how to become more extroverted, but the reverse is rarely true. Yet, introverts have much that more social individuals can learn from, and the capacity to savor time alone is one such skill.

Cultivating that self-sufficiency is important for anyone who admires the sigma male and wants to be more like him. 

7. Develop Leadership Skills

Sigma males do not chase leadership, but they often rise to it when it comes. Develop your leadership skills if you desire to be a sigma man.

You’ll need it if you find yourself in charge. This can also help you develop more competence in whatever field you work in and help you improve in your career path. 

8. Learn to Be Assertive, Not Aggressive

The sigma male is also assertive — never aggressive. For some personalities, anger management might be a necessary step to learn the difference and become more assertive.

Being able to advocate for yourself and for others is essential for the sigma man. He doesn’t feel like he needs to fight battles. He uses reason, diplomacy, and persistence to achieve his goals. 

9. Cultivate a Sense of Adventure

The sigma male loves novelty and possesses a sense of adventure. He takes calculated risks and enjoys trying new things. This is something you’ll want to learn to do if you want to be like a sigma.

Embracing change might be difficult, but the sigma male can see the wonder and whimsy of life and enjoys it. 

Push yourself out of your comfort zone just to see how it feels. Try something you’ve never done before. Cultivating a sense of adventure will give you an idea of how the sigma male looks at the world. 

10. Be Curious

The sigma man loves to learn. He never stops. He’s curious about the world around him, not judgmental. He’s constantly thinking about how the world and the people in it work, and his curiosity opens many doors for him. 

Learn to be more curious about the world around you. Don’t assume you know why someone is doing something. Ask. Be open to learning. Be open to being wrong and making mistakes. Your curiosity will broaden your worldview. 

11. Learn to Listen

Another important aspect of the sigma male personality is his ability to listen to others. He listens more than he talks.

Instead of formulating his responses, he’s thoughtfully consider what is being said. Developing this trait can make you a better family member, friend, and employee. It can also help you become more like the sigma man.

This can take practice, particularly if you’re used to leading the conversation. Whereas alphas often assert their opinion and find themselves at the center of a crowd, sigmas are often listening and observing more than they interact.

When they do have something to say, it tends to have more impact because of their thoughtful and thorough listening. 


Anyone can cultivate the skills of a sigma male. While it might not come naturally to you, it’s possible to develop each of these characteristics over time. You might not be able to turn into an introvert when you’re innately extroverted, but you can learn to embrace time alone as well as time with others. 

The sigma male is a coveted position on the social hierarchy because it defies a singular position. It can move freely into a leadership position or exist happily outside of that role.

If you want to be more like a sigma, these steps will help you get there. Just remember: If you treat it like a competition, you’ll have to start all over because the sigma isn’t competing with anyone but himself.

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Photo by Mubariz Mehdizadeh on Unsplash

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