Some people are so good at twisting your words that you almost start to believe them. You try to defend yourself, explain what you meant, or prove what really happened, but somehow, they always flip the conversation and make you feel like the bad guy.
If this sounds familiar, you’ve likely dealt with gaslighting. It’s not always loud or obvious, it’s often quiet, subtle, and extremely confusing.
But here’s the truth: once you learn to recognize this type of manipulation, you can take back your power.
You don’t need to yell or explain yourself for hours. You just need the right words.
These phrases are simple, calm, and powerful. They help you stay grounded when a narcissist or manipulator tries to mess with your head.
And they’re great to remind yourself that you’re not the problem.
“That’s not what I remember”
When someone twists a story and tries to make you feel like you’re remembering it wrong, this phrase helps you stand your ground.
You’re not yelling, you’re not accusing them of anything, you’re just stating that what you remember is different.
This keeps you in your truth and stops them from trying to control the narrative. Remember, manipulators are used to win with this tactic, the moment you stop them they’ll feel confused or disoriented. They won’t know exactly how to respond.
I’ve used this more than once with people who tried to rewrite an entire conversation to make themselves look better. Just saying, “That’s not what I remember,” made it clear I wasn’t going to play along.
Most of them time it works.
“We have two different opinions, and that’s perfectly fine”
Gaslighters often try to convince you that their way is the only truth.
This phrase is great because it takes away their power without starting a fight. You’re not arguing but setting a boundary between what they believe and what you know to be true. That is, each of you have their own version of what happened.
It’s simple, respectful, and very effective.
I remember saying this to a coworker who always had to be right. One day during a team meeting he was contradicting me while planning a new project.
The moment I said “We have two different opinions, and that’s ok” he got frustrated, but there was nothing left for him to argue.
“I know what you’re doing, don’t try to gaslight me”
This one’s bold, but somtimes you need to call it out directly.
If a manipulator keeps denying, twisting, or blaming, say this calmly and firmly. It stops the game.
You’re letting them know you see the pattern, and you’re not falling for it.
Gaslighters hate being called out because it ruins their whole strategy. This phrase shines a light on their behavior.
I remember using this exact phrase with someone who used to constantly deny things he had clearly said.
The moment I calmly told him, “I know what you’re doing, don’t try to gaslight me,” he froze. He had no comeback. It was like I took away all his usual tricks.
“Don’t tell me how I feel”
Gaslighters love to say things like, “You’re overreacting,” “You shouldn’t feel upset” or “You’re too sensitive.”
This phrase shuts that down.
Your emotions are valid, and no one gets to decide how you feel. No one should invalidate your feelings.
If someone tries to rewrite your emotional experience, just say this. It makes it clear that your feelings are not up for debate.
“That’s your point of view, not necessarily mine”
This is another calm way to draw a line.
If a narcissist insists that their opinion is the truth, you can use this phrase to distance yourself without starting a full argument.
It helps you keep your sense of reality when someone is trying to make you feel like your thoughts are wrong or ridiculous.
It keeps you grounded.
“Don’t change the subject, let’s stick to the real issue here”
Gaslighters often change the subject when they feel cornered. They’ll bring up something random (often accusing or blaming you for something else) to avoid taking responsibility.
This phrase is how you stop that tactic.
Say it firmly. Don’t let the conversation drift. Hold the focus on what actually matters.
It’s a simple way to stop the distraction and stay on track.
“It sounds like you’re trying to manipulate what I said”
Sometimes gaslighting is subtle. They don’t deny what happened, they just twist your words slightly.
This phrase is how you catch that behavior mid-conversation. Yes, if you use this statement you’re going to call them out directly.
But it keeps you in control of your own message and stops them from turning your words against you.
It also makes them think twice about continuing the manipulation. Or trying to gaslight you again in the future.
“You keep twisting my words and I’m not going to argue like this”
Gaslighters often want to keep you in the argument loop. They twist and twist until you’re too tired to fight back.
This phrase shuts the loop down. It draws a line.
You’re telling them: I see what you’re doing, and I’m stepping out.
I used this once in a conversation that had gone in circles for almost an hour. He kept twisting my words and I just stopped and said, “You keep twisting my words and I’m not going to keep doing this.” I stood up, left the room, and refused to continue.
He didn’t expect that, and honestly, it felt like a turning point for me.
You don’t have to stay in a conversation that’s going nowhere (and that is stressing you).
“This conversation is over until we can talk with respect”
This one works when things start getting heated, disrespectful, or manipulative.
You’re setting a boundary, not running away.
It sends a message that you’re willing to talk, but only if it’s a real, respectful conversation, and not another trap set by a manipulator to twist your words again.
It puts the responsibility on them to meet you at a healthier level.
You don’t have to argue or explain yourself to someone who’s trying to twist your words or make you doubt yourself. These phrases help you stay calm, protect your truth, and walk away from the manipulation.