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When a Woman Tries to Make You Jealous: 9 Signs & What to Do

Ever catch a case of the green-eyed monster? Jealousy is a normal human emotion — even if it’s not one you relish experiencing.

While it can happen from time to time, there’s nothing quite like when having a woman try to make you jealous on purpose.

You thought of someone immediately, didn’t you? You might even have experienced this type of situation.

It’s a common enough experience, but would you recognize the signs it’s happening to you?

Subtle Signs a Woman Is Trying to Make You Jealous

There are some common signs that a woman is trying her best to make you jealous. There might be many reasons she does, but first, let’s talk about the signs you need to know to recognize what’s happening.

Why listen to me? I’m Crystal Jackson and I was a master’s level licensed therapist. I worked with couples and individuals and specialized in trauma recovery and empowerment. I now write content about relationships, self-improvement, and psychology. My work has been featured in large publications such as Elite Daily, Your Tango, Positively Positive, and Mamamia.

1. She Talks About Other Interests in Your Presence

One key sign that a woman is trying to make you jealous is when she talks about your competition.

If other dating interests come up in the conversation, she could be trying to assess your jealousy — and your interest in her. Dropping in a hint of competition for her attention is a common way of stirring up jealousy.

If you’re in a relationship, this can feel disrespectful, but if you haven’t yet locked down the relationship status, this could make you feel uneasy and bring jealousy to the surface.

You know you aren’t her only choice, and it could bring out the green-eyed monster in you.

2. She Flirts with Others in Front of You

Some people are just naturally flirtatious, and it comes out with everyone. However, there are people who will flirt with others in front of you purely to make you jealous.

How do you know the difference? She might be laughing a lot and touching his arm and then checking to see if you noticed.

Her flirtation might be loud and attention-seeking, or she might be cozied up in a corner with someone she knows you’ll see as a rival.

It’s possible that she’s trying to draw out a jealous response by showcasing flirty behavior with other prospects. It doesn’t even matter if her target is single or in a relationship. Her flirtatious ways could have jealousy rising to the surface.

3. She Talks About Her Celebrity Crush

Does she have a celebrity crush that she won’t stop talking about? While that’s not uncommon, it’s also entirely possible that she brings up her crush just to get a reaction.

The chances might be low that she would ever meet this person in real life, but that doesn’t mean the experience of her crushing on them won’t draw out very real feelings of jealousy.

She might even have a Hall Pass list of celebrities she would happily hook up with given the opportunity. While this can be a lighthearted topic for some couples, it might not feel that way for individuals prone to jealousy.

4. She Spends More Time Hanging Out with Friends

Spending more time with friends in and of itself might not be a red flag that she’s trying to make you jealous … unless of course, you pair it with these other signs.

If she passes up time with you for time with them over and over again, she could be testing to see if you enter into jealous territory over her friendships.

Most relationship tests seem to be Pass or Fail and are rarely graded on a curve.

She could be trying to see if sharing time with others brings possessive traits to the surface, or she might be using time with friends to test how much you want to be with her.

This is why communication is key in relationships. It’s possible she just needs time with her gal pals, and it has nothing to do with you. You won’t know if you don’t ask.

5. She Posts Thirst Trap Pictures on Social Media

There is no greater glory than love, nor any greater punishment than jealousy.

– Lope de Vega

If she’s posting thirst trap pictures on social media, it’s possible she’s trying to get a rise out of you. Does it make you feel jealous when the likes and comments from others start showing up? Or do you just feel proud of her?

It’s possible to experience both feelings at the same time. There’s a difference between posting a selfie and posting a sexy thirst trap.

You might feel jealousy coming up in either case, but the thirst trap picture might be designed to elicit that reaction.

6. She Brings Up Her Connection with Past Partners

Talking about past relationships and former lovers could bring jealousy to the surface. Does she happen to drop this into conversation frequently?

Does she reminisce about good times with former lovers? This could make you feel uncertain in the relationship.

Everyone has a past, but that doesn’t mean you want to keep being reminded of it.

If she brings up former lovers, it’s possible she’s trying to bring out that jealousy to determine your commitment to her and to the relationship.

7. She Delays Responding to Your Texts

Has she started to delay her text responses? It’s possible she’s trying to make you jealous — especially if you know she’s hanging out with friends and has her phone readily available.

If she’s the kind of person who seems surgically attached to her phone, this behavior could make you suspicious — and bring along suspicion’s good friend jealousy.

While there could be other explanations for a delay in responding, it’s also a potential indicator that she’s trying to make you jealous.

Ask yourself a few context questions. Is she at work? She’s probably busy. Is she spending time with family?

She might be trying to be present and not rudely respond to texts during a family dinner. Is she working on a special project with her attractive coworker? She might be trying to elicit a jealous response.

8. She Changes Up Her Appearance

A sudden change in appearance could be a sign that she’s trying to encite a jealous reaction. New hair, a sexy wardrobe makeover, or other significant changes could draw more attention than yours. How does that make you feel?

Maybe she just needed a change. It’s possible. But you might notice that the attention the change gets her inadvertently brings jealousy to the surface. Was that her intention — or a happy accident?

9. She Mentions When Other People Flirt with Her

Does she mention to you any time someone else flirts with her? You would have never known otherwise.

Sharing this information with you could be her attempt to be completely transparent with you, but it’s also one of the possible signs that she’ wants to see if it makes’s trying to make you jealous.

Does she do this often? Do you know about everyone online or in-person who flirts with her? This could be a sign that she’s testing you to see if you get jealous.

What You Should Do

If she’s trying to make you jealous, you might wonder why that is and what you’re supposed to do about it. Here are some things you might want to consider.

Address Your Insecurities

Jealousy is the fear of comparison.

– Max Frisch

Would you say that you’re normally a jealous person? Why is that? If you’re feeling insecure, this isn’t a “her” problem.

It’s a “you” problem. It might be time to address your insecurities and build a stronger sense of self-esteem and self-worth.

If you feel secure in your relationship, your partner casually mentioning a celebrity crush shouldn’t active your inner green-eyed monster. If you feel insecure all the time, don’t make that your partner’s responsibility.

Work through the issues keeping you from fully loving yourself and feeling secure in your relationship.

Recommended read: How to Act and Look Confident: 9 Habits That Can Change You

Evaluate if Her Actions Violate Your Relationship Agreement

If you’re in a relationship, you need to ask yourself if her actions violate the relationship agreement. Is her flirtatious behavior crossing a line?

You may need to talk to her about how this makes you feel and how it disrespects your relationship. Being able to openly discuss your feelings is an important part of a healthy relationship.

It’s possible that you’re being oversensitive to normal behavior. It’s also possible that she’s behaving immaturely to elicit a reaction.

Either way, if you aren’t comfortable, you need to talk it out — or involve a couple’s counselor who can help you address these issues.

Reassure Her of Your Feelings

Scientific studies show that women who elicit jealousy often receive higher levels of attention from men. In other words, trying to make you jealous works.

It could be a way to help reassure her of your feelings. Instead of waiting for her to make you jealous to show you care, you could find other ways to let her know you love and appreciate her.

It’s possible that she doesn’t feel secure in the relationship and eliciting a jealous response makes her feel wanted.

If you notice that she seems insecure, it’s possible to find other ways to let her know that she’s cared about and valued. Regularly showing appreciation could decrease her need to make you feel jealous of others.

Learn to Communicate More Openly

It’s important to practice clear communication in relationships. Don’t assume her motivations. Clarify them.

Ask if she’s trying to make you jealous. If she is, find out why. It’s possible you’re both feeling insecure in the relationship.

Learning to talk out your feelings — even the ones that make you feel uncomfortable — can help you build a stronger, more stable, and healthier relationship.

Practice speaking up and sharing how you’re feeling — and ask her how she’s feeling, too.

As your communication opens up, she might not feel the need to make you jealous — and you might find that the green-eyed monster just doesn’t rise to the bait anymore.

Recommended read: How to Better Communicate With Your Partner: 6 Powerful Tips

Decide If You’re Well-Matched

It’s possible that the relationship just isn’t a good fit for you.

If couple’s counseling and open communication doesn’t help your relationship find stable footing, you just might not be well-suited to each other. Consider if this relationship adds value to your life or simply adds stress.

Jealousy isn’t an insurmountable obstacle in a relationship, but it could bring to the surface issues of basic incompatibility.

You can ignore them, but they won’t go away just because you refuse to address them. In fact, the healthiest thing you can do is face the facts.

If it’s a good relationship, you can overcome jealousy and build a stronger relationship. If it’s not a good relationship, there’s only so much you can do to make it better.

Some people use jealousy to stroke their own ego but many do it to reassure themselves that they are valued.

Whatever the reason, recognizing the signs can help you decide what you want to do about it. With a little self-awareness, you can put the green-eyed monster to rest and address any issues it brings up in your relationship.

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Photo by Yoann Boyer on Unsplash

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