If you’re looking for the signs he is getting serious about you, we can help you find the answers you’re searching for.
Off the top of your head, you could probably list 20 clear signs that he’s not serious about you. You’ve learned to recognize all the red flags and warning signs of that particular dating archetype.
If you’ve got strong boundaries and even stronger self-worth, you know when he’s playing — and when to walk away when that’s not what you want.
But if your self-worth has been shaken by past relationships, it might be harder to tell when someone is serious. You don’t want to misread the signs — as maybe you’ve done before.
You might even be seeking reassurance that the relationship is going in the right direction. Do you know how to pinpoint the signs he’s actually getting serious?
Why listen to me? I was a master’s level licensed therapist. I worked with couples and families and specialized in trauma recovery and empowerment. I now write content about relationships and psychology. My work has been featured on large publications such as Elite Daily, Your Tango, Positively Positive, Mamamia, and The Good Men Project.
10 Signs He Is Getting Serious About You
It’s just as important to recognize the signs that he’s getting serious about you. You need to know if you’re on the same page about what you want for the relationship.
If you want to keep it casual but he’s getting serious, you’ve got an uncomfortable conversation ahead.
If you want a serious relationship, you might want to look for the following signs that he’s getting serious about you, too.
1. He Brings Up Exclusivity
A man who is getting serious about you will bring up exclusivity. He’ll let you know that he’s not dating anyone else. He’ll likely ask if you’re dating other people.
This might be his early way of testing out if you’re as invested in the relationship as he is. If you’re dating other people, he might want to be prepared for not being the one you choose. Either way, this is a pretty big clue that he’s getting serious about you.
If it’s early in the relationship and exclusivity hasn’t been agreed upon, you don’t have to feel pressured to stop dating other people if you’re not ready for commitment.
Someone who is rushing you into a relationship doesn’t really care about or understand consent — and might actually be love bombing you.
However, if you’ve had time to get to know one another and exclusivity comes up, it’s an opportunity to take your relationship to the next level if that’s what you want.
2. He Wants to Define the Relationship
A man who’s serious about you may suggest that you define the relationship. If he initiates this conversation, he’s putting himself in the vulnerable position of being rejected. This is your opportunity to either advance the relationship or explain that you’re not on the same page.
Defining the relationship is still a big deal. It’s the conversation where you decide to update your relationship status and essentially go public that the two of you are romantically linked and committed.
Only you know when you’re ready to make this move, but if he mentions being official, it’s a pretty obvious hint that he’s invested in the relationship and serious about you.
3. He Includes You in His Big Decisions
Before he makes any big decisions, he asks for your opinion and includes you in the decision-making process. He wants to know how you feel about it.
This is not a man who is going to adopt a cat when you have a life-threatening allergy to them.
This isn’t a man who is just going to take a job that will relocate him across the globe without so much as mentioning it to you.
This is a person who isn’t going to make any major change without getting your take on it.
This doesn’t mean that he’s looking to you to make the decisions. He just cares about what you think. He sees you as a partner who should be involved in the decision. It’s a significant sign that he’s serious about you.
4. He Invites You to Significant Events
It’s also an important sign when he invites you to significant life events. If you find yourself with an invitation to the big holiday get together or some other momentous occasion, you know that you’re not just a person he’s casually dating.
You’re a person he considers his natural plus-one.
If you’re included in a single event requiring a plus-one, you might not be able to take this one factor and conclude he’s serious about you.
However, if you’re invited to all his significant events, it’s fairly safe to assume he’s getting serious — although a conversation is always the best way to find out.
5. He Publicly Posts About You
A man who is serious about you is not hiding your existence from the people in his life.
He proudly posts about you and shows you off.
He doesn’t shy away from selfies or ask you not to post them. He’s happy for other people to see you together, and it’s yet another sign that he’s taking this relationship seriously.
6. He Introduces You to His Favorite People
If you’ve never met his favorite friends and family members, you know it’s still casual. A huge sign that he’s serious about you comes when he starts introducing you to all his favorite people.
If he’s not close to his family, you don’t need to expect an invitation to meet with them, but you should be meeting the people he’s actually close to as the relationship progresses.
He might want his friends to vet you before he gets serious, but it’s still a good sign that he’s thinking of you as a potential partner.
Being introduced to his inner circle can also give you a chance to see who he is around the people who know him best. If he’s been putting on a front for you, you’ll likely see the cracks when he’s around the people who truly know him. If he’s been genuine with you, you’re going to see that, too.
Recommended read: 19 Signs He Is in Love With You, According to a Former Therapist
7. He’s Planning a Future with You
If he’s getting serious about you, he’s going to start talking about a future. He’ll share his goals, hopes, and dreams. He’ll ask you about yours.
He’s going to start asking questions that check to see if your values align for the long-term.
Someone who isn’t serious about you is going to avoid talk about the future.
They might make a plan with you for next week but avoid mentioning you in plans for several months or even a year out.
He might have been hurt in the past and is just trying to be cautious, but if you’re serious about him, you may need to ask if he’s on the same page as you.
8. He Talks About Starting a Family
Does he mention starting a family with you? This doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to have children. He might even mention adopting a pet with you.
The idea of caring for a living creature or having an actual human child is a pretty serious indicator that he’s all in. He sees you as a person he could coparent with — even if you both prefer fur babies to actual ones.
9. He Proposes the Idea of Marriage or Long-Term Commitment
Does he casually mention proposal stories, marriage, or long-term commitment? He might be testing the waters to see how you feel about these things. It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s serious about you.
It entirely depends on how he broaches the subject and the tone he takes about it.
If he tells you an adorable proposal or marriage story, you might interpret that to mean he is pro-commitment.
If he is always recounting long-term relationship disasters, he might be discussing his fears for the future or he might be showing you that he’s not future-positive.
And if he positively discusses long-term commitment and wants your take on it, it’s likely hes’ getting serious about you.
Recommended read: How to Tell if a Guy Likes You: 22 Clear Signs
10. He’s Crazy About You — Then Calm
Researchers have found that love has a progression. In the first year, he’s likely crazy about you. He thinks about you all the time, and it shows.
However, as the relationship grows and matures, that first flash of crazy love should settle down and become something stable, steady, and calm.
It’s not that he cares less about you, but he has entered a state that is more committed than infatuated.
True love will have its ups and downs, and a shift into routine shouldn’t alarm you that the relationship is headed for disaster.
It’s actually a good sign that he’s getting serious about you. He isn’t just chasing those early waves of infatuation. He cares about you deeply and is happy to share the everyday moments with you, too.
He’s Serious — Are You?
You’ve seen the signs he’s serious about you. Are you serious about him? No matter how much someone loves you, it doesn’t mean you have to love them back or want what they do.
Take the time to evaluate if the two of you are truly compatible. Decide if this is a person you can see a future with — and if you’re excited about the future you envision with him.
If he’s your person, it could be time to take your relationship to the next natural level — whatever that looks like for the two of you. If he’s not your person and you know it, it might be time to have a difficult conversation, so that you’re both free to find your person.
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