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6 Signs He Actually, Genuinely Loves You

In this post, we will talk about some signs he truly loves you.

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We often receive emails from readers explaining to us their situation and asking us:

“How do I know if he really loves me?”

If you’re asking yourself questions like this, then this article might help you find answers.

When you’re in a healthy relationship, you hardly ever realize how blessed you are.

For example, I met Jai, my boyfriend, back in 2017. Since then, we’ve had a long-distance relationship for four years, and have finally started living together a few months ago.

I always knew what Jai and I had was special, but meeting other people reinforced just how into me he was.

Whenever I meet a friend who’s also in a relationship, I always come back with a renewed belief in just how lucky I am.

Talking to the other couples, meeting an amazing man, and reading a lot on the subject made me realize that if a guy truly loves you, you will see some undeniable signs.

Signs He Actually, Genuinely Loves You

To help you understand if he really loves you, I’ve created a list of five science-backed signs he probably loves you more than you think.

1. He does things for you when you least expect them

I remember the days when I used to be so exhausted after coming back from work, that I collapsed on the bed immediately.

Jai used to come from behind and massage my neck. He played with my hair, touched my arms, and helped me relax.

I didn’t know I needed a massage to feel good.

However, Jai gave me something I hadn’t asked for, and wouldn’t have thought to get for myself had he not taken the initiative.

This is just one example of doing things for me when I least expect them. And it clearly shows how into me he is.

A reason why a man might want to do things for you when you don’t ask for them is that he’s constantly thinking about you — a common thing that happens when someone is in love with you.

As this article on Insider puts it, when you’re in love, you may feel like you can’t get them off of your mind.

That’s because your brain releases phenylethylamine, aka the “love drug,” the hormone that creates the feeling of wanting to do things to make your partner happy.

A few other examples of doing things for you when you don’t expect them could be:

  • He washes your hair in the shower,
  • Or picks up thoughtful gifts that you don’t even remember mentioning in passing a few weeks ago,
  • Or he brings back food for you whenever he goes out with his friends,
  • He surprises you with a chore or household item you didn’t know you needed, but improves your life nevertheless.

Related read: Signs a Guy Likes You a Lot – 20 Ways to Know if He’s Truly Into You

2. He is always curious to know more about you

I don’t remember the last time Jai and I only talked about our days or what we had for food.

Our conversations always go deeper. Often, we talk about our fears, motivations, what’s holding us back, and how we can move ahead in our lives and careers.

Before I met him, I wasn’t used to opening up and talk so much about deepest desires. But just because Jai was so curious, it helped me trust him and share all the fears that keep me awake at night.

Whenever you have conversations, your man loves you if he always asks the right questions that make you feel heard.

If he’s interested in knowing more about you, about what drives you, then he’s definitely thinking of you as more than just a friend or a date.

When a man really loves you, he will often ask you deep questions, because he wants to connect on an emotional level. He won’t just ask what show you’re watching or how your day went.

“Connecting with others in meaningful ways tends to make people happier,” says Nicholas Epley, Ph.D., a professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business.

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3. If you’re happy, he’s happy

I’ve lost count of the number of times Jai has introduced me to someone who later became an integral part of my life and (or) business.

He’s also given me Masterclasses courses and useful subscriptions that have helped me in my writing and entrepreneurial ventures.

Before I met him, I didn’t know what having a supportive partner truly meant. But Jai’s enthusiasm about my success makes me realize I’ve hit the “jackpot” when it comes to finding the right partner.

If a man is really into you, he’ll make it his life’s mission to see you do well. He’ll actively push you towards your goal.

This can either be by providing new resources or connecting you to the right people who can help you move ahead.

And his efforts will show results, for sure.

Researchers at Washington University in St. Louis found that people with relatively prudent and reliable partners tend to perform better at work, earning more promotions, making more money, and feeling more satisfied with their jobs.

4. He makes you a part of his life

Jai and I may usually be very busy individually. However, whenever we both have some free time, he makes sure to check up on me and see how I’m doing.

If your man makes you a part of his life and makes sure you know that you’re a part of his, he definitely loves you.

When he’s deeply involved in your life and knows the kind of challenges you’re currently facing, while also sharing enough about his life with you as well, he has some real feelings for you.

When there are no gaps in your understanding of each other, it’s a sign he loves you.

If you have a man who understands that love is not just an emotion, it’s a decision you make every morning.

Here are some other signs he can make you a part of his life:

  • He knows you’re his one true love and he makes sure you know how appreciated you are,
  • Introduces you to his friends and isn’t shy of being seen with you in public,
  • Includes you in trips that he has planned with his mates,
  • Explains to you what he does at work, so you have a clear idea of the kind of work he’s involved in, the projects that excite him, etc.
  • Takes intentional breaks just to spend time with you so you can do things together as a couple.

Related read: How to Tell if Someone Truly Values You

5. He sees a future with you

I remember how happy I felt when Jai once told me: “I don’t think our lives will change much when you and I get married.”

His statement meant that he was so happy with the relationship in that moment that our lives wouldn’t change much; they would be that happy, stable, and loving even after getting married.

This kind of statement made me feel sure of his love.

Maybe you and your significant other never talked about marriage or about living together one day.

But when your man makes long-term plans with you – and follows through – his feelings are probably genuine.

When a man really loves you he will use “We” statements and not “I” statements.

For example, “When we have a beautiful house in Paris, we’ll go out every week to sit at a nice café.”

From a statement like this, you can see the other person has included you as a part of their plans. And are definitely in love with you.

Recommended read: How to Tell a Guy You Like Him: 7 Clever Ways to Do It

6. He wants things to work and makes an effort

When a man is in really love with you, he wants things to work.

So he’ll make an effort. If you two have an argument or conflict arises, he’ll want to listen to your point of view so that you can work on finding a solution together.

And if he knows he’s made a mistake, he’ll take responsibility for his actions and apologize.

Final Thoughts

If someone’s not into you with all their heart and soul, there’s no point in continuing in the relationship.

That said, because of how convoluted modern relationships are, it’s also not always easy to know for sure if a man is into you.

Based on science – and my own experience – here are five signs he truly loves you:

  1. He does small things for you when you least expect it, showing you’re always on his mind,
  2. Is curious to know more about you beyond what you show on the surface,
  3. Feels genuinely happy when you achieve something big, and makes active efforts to push you towards your goals,
  4. Makes you a part of his life by including you in his past, present, and future,
  5. Drops signs that he sees a future with you.

Important note

It’s natural to second-guess things, especially when you’re invested in the result. Even if all the signs point towards him loving you, I think most of us can relate to still feeling unsure.

A second opinion can be invaluable in situations like this. Your friends/family can be a good sounding board. But oftentimes, they’re not as helpful as you’d like them to be.

They can often tell us what they think we want to hear, or what they think is best for us, rather than the objective truth.

That’s why we often recommend getting in touch with a professional Relationship and Dating coach.

In case you don’t know where to look for a good coach, Relationship Hero is an online platform that has 100+ certified coaches from all over the world available 24/7.

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How can I tell if he really loves me?

If he truly loves you, you will simply feel it. You will see a consistent pattern. He will do things for you he wouldn’t do for anyone else, and he will always respect you. And he will make it clear that he wants you in his present and in his future.
When a guy loves you, you will never experience hot and cold behavior, cheating, or excessive emotional distance.

He seems interested in person but not over text. Why? Does it mean he doesn’t love me?

A lot of guys aren’t into texting a lot. The fact that he doesn’t text you often doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.
Always focus on the pattern.
If you see each other often and he clearly demonstrate that he loves you, you shouldn’t worry too much about his texting frequency.

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Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

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