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13 Smart Phrases to Put a Manipulative Narcissist Back in Their Place

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Photo by Alex Sheldon on Unsplash

Dealing with a manipulative narcissist can feel like a never-ending battle. They twist words, push your boundaries, and make you question your own reality.

Well, you already know that.

I’ve seen so many people struggle to stand up for themselves in front of narcissists, without knowing how to respond without getting pulled into their toxic games.

The key is to stay calm (I know, easier said that done, but still worth trying it every single time), set firm boundaries, and refuse to engage in their manipulation game.

Having the right words can make all the difference, trust me. The phrases in this list will help you take back control, shut down their tactics, and protect your peace.

You don’t need to argue, explain yourself, or get emotional. Sometimes, a simple, confident response is all it takes to make them realize their tricks won’t work on you anymore.

Why listen to me? I’m Sira Mas and I’m a relationship coach. I write about self-improvement, love, dating and psychology. My work has been featured on large publications such as Mamamia, Plenty of Fish, Ladders, Entrepreneur and Thrive Global.

1. “I remember exactly what happened, don’t try to twist things.”

Narcissists love to rewrite their story to fit their narrative (aka playing the victim). They will claim things happened differently, distort details, or outright lie.

This phrase makes it clear that you are not falling for their manipulation. Not anymore. It clearly communicates that you trust your own memory and will not allow them to gaslight you into questioning yourself.

If they try to argue back, stay firm and do not engage in their mind games.

2. “I remember perfectly what I said, don’t even try your gaslighting tactics with me.”

Gaslighting is one of a narcissist’s favorite manipulation tools. They will deny things they said, claim you misunderstood, or make you feel like you’re imagining things.

By calling out their gaslighting directly, you strip them of their power.

This phrase tells them you see through their tactics and won’t let them play with your mind. My advice is to say it with confidence and refuse to engage further.

3. “I’m not going to feel guilty for setting basic, healthy boundaries.”

Narcissists will try to make you feel bad for setting reasonable and healthy boundaries. They want you to believe that having boundaries means you are selfish or unreasonable.

This phrase makes it clear that you are standing firm in your right to set limits. You are not responsible for their discomfort when you refuse to be manipulated.

If they try to argue or guilt-trip you, repeat the phrase and don’t engage.

4. “I’m not available for this conversation right now.”

Narcissists love to control conversations, especially when they sense they are losing power. All narcissists’ victims know this veeery well.

They will try to bait you into an argument or manipulate you into defending yourself.

Instead of engaging, shut them down. This phrase makes it clear that you are not going to play their game. You are taking control of when and how you communicate, not allowing them to dictate the interaction.

If they try to push you into continuing the conversation, simply repeat the phrase and walk away.

5. “I’m not responsible for your anger.”

This applies to when you are setting some basic, healthy boundaries and they start their usual guilt trip game.

In fact, as you probably know, one of the narcissist’s favorite tactics is guilt-tripping. They want you to feel bad for setting boundaries, disagreeing with them, or not giving them what they want.

So, this phrase reminds them (and yourself) that their negative emotions (like anger, disappointment, frustration because you’re not giving them what they want) are their responsibility, not yours.

You don’t owe them what they’re asking you to do or give them. And you are not required to fix their mood or make them feel better by eliminating your boundaries.

Especially when they use emotional manipulation to control you.

If they try to argue back, stay calm and firm. You don’t owe them an explanation.

6. “That’s your opinion, not a fact.”

I. Love. This. Phrase.

Narcissists speak with absolute certainty, even when they’re wrong. They will twist reality, exaggerate, or outright lie to make you doubt yourself.

This phrase stops them in their tracks. It tells them that just because they say something doesn’t make the absolute truth.

You are refusing to accept their version of reality and reminding them that their opinions do not define you…or reality.

The key is to say this without emotion. Don’t get defensive or argue, just state it as a simple fact.

7. “I don’t accept being spoken to like that.”

Manipulative narcissists often resort to belittling, insulting, or raising their voice to maintain control. If you allow it, they will continue.

This phrase sets a firm boundary. It tells them that their behavior is unacceptable and that you will not tolerate it.

If they continue, follow up with a consequence, such as leaving the conversation or cutting off communication.

What I tell my clients in situations like this is to be consistent. Narcissists will test your boundaries, but if you hold firm, they will eventually realize they can’t manipulate you as easily as they think.

8. “I’m not interested in playing this game.”

Narcissists thrive on drama. They will start arguments over nothing, twist your words, and provoke reactions just to feel in control.

This phrase takes away their power.

It tells them you see through their manipulation and you refuse to participate. Instead of getting dragged into their chaos, you walk away.

When dealing with a narcissist, disengagement is often the best strategy. The less emotional energy you give them, the less control they have over you.

It frustrates the heck out of them, so they’ll keep trying to provoke you, just keep this in mind.

9. “I understand your perspective.”

Narcissists want to win every argument. They want you to agree with them or react emotionally so they can twist the situation.

By calmly saying, “I understand your perspective,” you stop them in their tracks. You acknowledge that they have an opinion without agreeing with them or feeding into their need for conflict.

If they try to push further, don’t take the bait. Repeat the phrase and move on.

10. “No.”

Simple, powerful, and effective. Narcissists hate hearing the word “no” because it means they’re not getting their way.

They will try to guilt-trip, intimidate, or manipulate you into changing your mind. But you don’t owe them an explanation.

If they demand a reason, just repeat “No” without further discussion. They will try to wear you down, but standing your ground is key to maintaining control.

11. “That sounds like a personal problem.”

Narcissists love to make their problems everyone else’s responsibility. They will dump their stress, anger, and frustrations on you, expecting you to fix them.

This phrase reminds them that their issues are their issues. You are not going to be their emotional punching bag.

Saying this with confidence makes it clear that you are not interested in taking on their burdens, no matter how much they try to guilt-trip you into it.

12. “I’m done discussing this.”

When a narcissist doesn’t get their way, they will try to drag out conversations until they wear you down. They will repeat themselves, argue in circles, and refuse to let things go.

This phrase shuts them down. It tells them that you are ending the discussion, whether they like it or not. If they keep pushing, disengage.

You don’t owe them unlimited access to your time and energy. Read that again.

What I tell people in these situations is that a narcissist will only stop when they see that their tactics no longer work. Hold firm, and don’t let them pull you back in.

13. “Goodbye.”

Sometimes, the smartest thing you can say to a narcissist is nothing at all. If they continue to manipulate, disrespect, or try to control you, the best response is to walk away.

It’s just one word, yet it can be so powerful. It tells them that you are no longer engaging, no longer tolerating their behavior, and no longer giving them what they want…control.

If a narcissist refuses to respect your boundaries, cutting off communication is often the healthiest decision you can make. They will never change, but you can choose to protect your peace.


Standing up to a manipulative narcissist means refusing to let them control the conversation or your emotions. The right words can shut down their tactics, set clear boundaries, and, most importantly, help you protect your peace.

Stay firm, stay calm, and don’t let them drag you into their chaos.

The most powerful response is knowing when to disengage and walk away.

Photo by Alex Sheldon on Unsplash

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