While every single human being possesses intrinsic value and worthiness for love and affection, I’d like to focus on traits of the high-value woman.
A high-value woman is considered a strong partner, friend, and person. She’s not just phoning in her life. She has a lot she brings to the table, and her qualities command respect as well as admiration.
Every single quality on this list can be developed, so consider this aspirational. Awareness of these qualities can help you appreciate the high-value women in your life.
If you are a woman, this list can remind you that relationships aren’t just about finding a partner who measures up; they are also about measuring up yourself by becoming the strong partner you’re seeking.
21 Traits of a High-Value Woman, According to a Former Therapist
The following traits are desirable in anyone but particularly describe a high-value woman. By high-value, I’m not referring to a monetary value, of course. Rather, I am talking about in-demand qualities that add something to your life. Here are 21 traits of the high-value woman.
Why listen to me? I’m Crystal Jackson and I was a master’s level licensed therapist. I worked with couples and families and specialized in trauma recovery and empowerment. I now write content about relationships and psychology. My work has been featured on Elite Daily, Your Tango, Positively Positive, Mamamia, and The Good Men Project.
1. She’s Emotionally Resilient
One key trait of a high-value woman is that she is emotionally resilient. She doesn’t just recover from the emotional rollercoaster of life. She has the knowledge and coping skills to regulate her emotions.
This isn’t a woman who loses control when she’s angry. While everyone can have moments of overreaction, the high-value woman is responsible for her feelings and with her feelings. She understands her triggers and knows how to calm herself down.
Don’t get me wrong. A high-value woman has the emotional range of anyone else. She just doesn’t let her feelings take the wheel or expect anyone else to “fix” them for her.
2. She’s Independent
The high-value woman doesn’t need you. She might want you, but your presence in her life is not a requirement. You’ll notice that the high-value woman is capable, resourceful, and independent.
She isn’t waiting around for anyone else to save her because she’s far too busy saving herself and then going on to live her best and brightest life.
Of course, because she’s so independent, she can struggle at times to ask for help. The high-value woman appreciates a partner who jumps in when help is needed without always having to be asked.
She’s got a stubborn streak a mile wide and will do most everything herself, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t appreciate it when you roll up your sleeves and jump into the work alongside her.
3. She Creates Her Own Happiness
Another admirable quality of the high-value woman is her ability to create her own happiness. She’s not so invested in relationships that she can’t be happy without one.
She’s not waiting for life to fall into perfect order to feel good. She actually does what she can to create a happy life from even the most challenging of circumstances.
This isn’t a woman who endlessly complains but does nothing to change her situation. She’s one who wakes up every day and chooses to make the best of things. She’s not waiting for anyone else to make her happy because she knows that’s her responsibility — and it’s one she takes seriously.
4. She Has a Growth Mindset
You’ll notice that high-value women always have a growth mindset. They don’t let life just happen to them. Instead, they’re on a mission to learn and improve.
The high-value woman might be happy with herself, but she still knows that she’s not perfect and could stand to improve. She’s a fan of doing the deep inner work to heal from her past to keep it from impacting her future.
The growth-minded woman will apply that attitude to her relationships, too. While she’s not interested in fixing anyone up, she is invested in improving her relationships, which means she’s unlikely to take them for granted. It’s another reason why the high-value woman is considered such a strong partner.
5. She’s Financially Savvy
Another important aspect of the high-value woman is her financial acumen. She’s financially savvy and responsible with her money. This is a woman who is capable of supporting herself and also has the ability to responsibly manage her money. If she has debts, she pays them on time.
The high-value woman might extend her prowess to saving and investments to improve her financial situation.
She isn’t looking for a sugar daddy; she’s too busy taking care of business. She’s learned from past financial mistakes and has figured out how to make good decisions where money is concerned. And she’s usually the go-to friend for financial advice.
6. She’s Confident
The high-value woman is confident. She’s a woman who knows her own worth and feels comfortable in her own skin. She doesn’t walk through life apologetically because she knows she has a lot that she brings to the table.
For this reason, the high-value woman is unlikely to tolerate negging, gaslighting, or any other behavior that questions her value, judgment, or herself.
She isn’t going to let anyone put her down or attempt to bring down her value. She walks through life with strong self-worth, and it shows.
Recommended read: How to Act and Look Confident: 9 Habits That Can Change You
7. She Has High Standards
You can expect the high-value woman to have high standards. Because she knows her worth, she’s going to look for partners with compatible traits. A potential partner with low self-esteem, poor communication skills, or a bad attitude won’t even make it into her consideration. She’s not going to bring herself down to anyone’s level just to have a plus-one in her life.
Her standards aren’t actually impossibly high. They’re reasonable. She’s not asking for anything that she’s not willing to contribute to a relationship.
If she wants a financially stable partner, it’s because she’s financially stable. If she’s looking for a good communicator, it’s because she communicates well. Her high standards reflect the type of partner who could enjoy the value she brings while adding their own.
8. She’s Authentic
The high-value woman isn’t one to play games and pretend to be someone she’s not. She’s learned to be her most authentic self. She’s already come to the conclusion that anyone who doesn’t accept her at her most authentic isn’t for her, and she’s made peace with that.
She doesn’t attempt to hide her flaws or downplay them. She’s upfront about who she is and what she wants, and she expects the same treatment in her relationships.
And she doesn’t tolerate artifice well because she understands that it’s better to part ways early due to incompatibility rather than invest in an illusion.
Recommended read: Authentic People: 7 Core Traits They Have in Common
9. She Has Healthy Boundaries
You may have noticed that the high-value woman in your life has strong boundaries. She advocates for herself, and her “no” isn’t an opportunity for you to persuade her.
She’s not rigid and inflexible. She just understands herself well enough to know what’s for her and what’s not, and she’ll set the boundaries to avoid any misunderstandings.
10. She’s Comfortable with Solitude
The high-value woman is capable of being alone. She’s learned to appreciate solitude. Even the most extroverted high-value woman is able to take time for herself without expecting an entourage to accompany her.
Because she appreciates her own company, the high-value woman isn’t out desperately seeking a partner. She’s happy to have one when or if the right person comes along, but she doesn’t see it as a life requirement. While she often has many friends, she doesn’t need companionship all day every day to feel fulfilled.
11. She’s Kind to Others
The high-value woman is also kind to others. She’s respectful to waitstaff, cashiers, and the people you love. She’s never mean for the sake of being mean, and she tends to look at other people with compassion.
This is an important quality in a high-value person. She’s not rude, and even on her worst days, she doesn’t tend to lash out at other people. Don’t get me wrong; she’s not perfect, and she can mess up. She’s just never intentionally unkind.
12. She’s Intelligent
Another quality of the high-value woman is her intelligence. She’s not just comfortable making small talk. She can also discuss deeper issues. She’s a woman with opinions who isn’t afraid to speak up and voice them.
She also has independent interests she can discuss intelligently and is capable of navigating topics she isn’t well-versed in by asking questions and being curious about the answers.
13. She Practices Self-Care
The high-value woman also practices self-care. She doesn’t neglect her appearance, and she takes care of her inner beauty, too. She understands the strong body-mind connection and does her best to care for both.
While methods of self-care vary, the high-value woman is usually active in some form or fashion, has some awareness of good nutrition, and tries to make healthy choices most of the time. She’s managing her stress levels and doing what she can to stay healthy and happy.
14. She’s a Good Listener
You may notice that the high-value woman is capable of advocating for herself, but she’s also a good listener.
She’s curious about the world around her and the people in it, and she’s usually the go-to person to listen to problems and give advice because she possesses an inner wisdom that stems from her ability to truly listen and understand.
Recommended read: Good Listeners: 7 Things They Do Differently
15. She’s Loyal
It isn’t surprising that loyalty is a key trait in a high-value woman. She’s no cheater, but she also won’t run you down to her friends and family. She’s a woman who understands loyalty to others — and to herself.
In fact, there are times when the high-value woman ends relationships because she’s realized that staying in them has become a betrayal to herself.
If it’s not working out, she’s capable of walking away. But in a healthy relationship where she’s appreciated, the high-value woman will be loyal for a lifetime.
16. She’s Honest
Honesty is another significant quality of the high-value woman. Because she doesn’t tolerate artifice, she is honest with others. She’s never cruel or unkind, but she will speak honestly if asked for her opinion. She’s also honest about how she feels, who she is, and what she wants.
She doesn’t expect anyone else to read her mind or magically know what she wants. She’ll speak up and tell you because she knows how important it is to communicate honestly with others.
17. She Supports Other Women
A high-value woman is a strong supporter of other women. She doesn’t see other women as her competition. In fact, she often helps promote the women in her life by sharing her expertise and showing her support.
This isn’t a woman who gossips negatively about other women or criticizes them. She’s too busy being a strong supporter of her own gender because she understands that society isn’t equal however much people like to say that it is.
She does her best to level the playing field by helping other women succeed, and she appreciates partners who do the same.
18. She Has a Great Sense of Humor
The high-value woman possesses an impeccable sense of humor. It can come in many forms, but she loves to laugh and never takes herself too seriously.
She never uses it to be unkind to others — or even to herself. She can see the humor in most any situation and knows how to use it well to diffuse tension.
19. She Has Integrity
You’ll notice that a high-value woman possesses great integrity. Her values, words, and actions all align. She doesn’t climb over others on her way up the career ladder, and she has a deeply personal sense of what is right and wrong.
Her integrity leads her decisions, and it’s one of the reasons why she is so well-liked, respected, and trusted.
20. She Fights Fair
The high-value woman is capable of resolving conflict without disrespect. In other words, she fights fair. She’s not yelling or calling names. She doesn’t punch walls or throw things.
She sees the problem and is looking for solutions. She’s more likely to involve an adversary in trouble-shooting the problem rather than facing off with them in an effort to “win”. The high-value woman knows that true winning is successfully resolving the conflict.
21. She’s Self-Aware
Last but never least, the high-value woman is self-aware. She knows she’s not perfect. She’s not trying to be. She understands her flaws and works on them, but she also knows her strengths.
She knows that she’s a strong partner, but she doesn’t believe she’s a perfect one or ever will be. Also, she sees herself clearly, and it helps her stay grounded, compassionate, and kind.
The High-Value Woman: In Conclusion
High-value women are a treasure. They bring value to their friendships, relationships, and families. They are strong partners, fierce advocates, and best friends. And if you take them for granted, the high-value woman will respect herself enough to leave the table and find a place where she is appreciated.
If you know a high-value woman, let her know that you see her and appreciate her. Sometimes, she’s holding the world on her shoulders. She might make it look easy, but it comes with challenges.
The high-value woman’s value isn’t monetary; it’s intrinsic. She is kind to herself and others, and she lives by a personal moral code. She’s not perfect, nor is she trying to be. And we appreciate her for it.