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The Alpha Female: 12 Traits of the Woman High-Quality Men Like

In this article we will talk about the alpha female, her personality traits, how she behaves in a relationship, and what makes her so desirable to high-quality men.

Chances are that somewhere in your travels across the internet, you’ve already stumbled upon this term.

And you have probably wondered what it means.

What Is an Alpha Female?

An alpha female is a confident, emotionally independent woman, who has a strong life purpose and doesn’t need anyone else to “complete” her. At the same time, when it comes to romantic relationships and dating, she is soft, warm, supportive, and feminine.

The Main Traits of an Alpha Woman

What follows are the main qualities alpha females tend to have in common.

1. She Knows Exactly What She Wants

The alpha lady knows exactly what she wants and goes after it. Always.

She has a clear life purpose and doesn’t let anything nor anyone distract her.

She also perfectly knows what she doesn’t want and doesn’t waste time focusing on things and people that don’t add value to her life and don’t contribute to her mental wellness.

In a relationship, the alpha female sets clear boundaries, and if her partner doesn’t respect those boundaries, she is willing to walk away.

2. She Is Deeply in Love With Her Life

The alpha woman is enthusiastic about her life and loves what she does for a living. This is why you often see this type of person in a leadership role.

Also, she is part of a social circle she loves and that supports her.

And you’ll rarely see her complaining.

If I had to use only four words to describe the alpha female I would probably choose the following:

  • Joy
  • Love
  • Passion
  • Determination

3. She Sets Exciting Goals for Herself

Now you might ask, what’s the secret of the alpha female?

Well, I would say that she doesn’t have secrets.

She just continuously sets exciting, reasonable, realistic goals for herself, which sets her apart from many other women.

And she does that in every area of her life – that is, career, personal growth, relationships, health. She loves to continuously step outside of her comfort zone.

I have a friend, Lara, everyone defines as an alpha female. She’s always pursuing interesting, smart goals.

For example, she is a manager thanks to her great leadership skills.

However, her next goal is to quit her 9-5 job to focus on her freelance career as software developer. And she’s working passionately on it. She has already a good side-hustle income and she’s growing it.

Also, she is into personal improvement and she recently talked to me about some of the goals she set for this year:

  • Reading 100 self-improvement books,
  • Working out at least 20 minutes every day,
  • Writing at least an article a week on her website to attract potential clients through content,
  • Meditate at least 10 minutes a day,
  • Learning more about emotional intelligence,
  • Eating at least two healthy meals a day.

4. She Would Never Settle for a “Toxic Guy”

The toxic guy is an insecure man who, in a relationship, tends to be clingy and displays toxic behaviors.

Often, he’s not in touch with his masculine energy, which frustrates his female partner.

Sometimes, the toxic guy faces problems or confrontations passive aggressively. At other times, he chooses to fake confidence and to do that he behaves aggressively.

To give you an example, men who are not in control of their emotions and start fights in clubs are typically toxic males.

Another example? A man who gives you the silent treatment instead of communicating assertively what he doesn’t like is a typical toxic guy.

Unlike insecure and emotionally dependent women, the alpha female can recognize this type of guys during the first few dates, and usually avoids starting a relationship with them.

And she’s usually attracted to alpha male behavior, typical of confident, ambitious, high-achieving men.

Recommended read: What Type of Woman Is An Alpha Male Attracted to?

5. She Is Loving and Supportive With Her Man

In a relationship, the alpha woman is extremely feminine.

This means that she supports her man in every aspect of his life and she lets him take the lead in the relationship.

She adds joy and passion to his life, while also letting him have all the space he needs.

As we mentioned before, she’s emotionally independent, and for this reason, it’s not difficult for her to to spend some time apart from her partner.

She doesn’t freak out when he can’t spend time with her.

If I could use only a few adjectives to describe the alpha female personality, I would probably choose the following ones:

  • Nurturing,
  • Playful,
  • Supportive,
  • Respectful,
  • Empathic.

6. She Is Not Afraid to Share Her Vulnerabilities

The alpha female is a strong woman, who can easily control herself in stressful situations.

However, she is not afraid to share her most vulnerable side with the people she trusts, because she knows vulnerability is key to bonding.

In a relationship, she’s usually the first one to share her vulnerable side, which usually leads to a deeper connection with her partner.

This trait is also a “good side effect” of being deeply in touch with her feminine energy.

Because a typical quality of highly feminine women is they have a strong self-awareness, which also helps them easily identify their deepest feelings and share them with the people they trust.

And this is something that helps them truly connect with others.

7. She’s Authentic

The alpha woman is an authentic person, which means she’s comfortable in her own skin, and doesn’t try to be like someone else. She likes who she is.

She knows some people will like her, while some others won’t, and she’s totally fine with that.

She’s the type of person who tells you what you need to hear, instead of what you want to hear.

In any relationship (platonic or romantic), her priority is to give, not to be liked or to avoid conflict.

8. She Encourages Her Partner to Pursue His Dreams and Goals

An insecure woman will probably feel threatened by her partner’s dreams and goals – or by anything he has outside of their relationship.

The alpha woman’s logic is completely different.

Since she also is pursuing her passions and has a strong life purpose, she is emotionally independent – and for this reason she doesn’t feel empty or alone when he has to focus on his career or his dreams.

She knows her own worth, she is highly confident, and as a result she doesn’t see her man’s passions as a threat.

Why would his passions even be a threat? So she encourages her partner to pursue his dreams, and she supports him emotionally.

And she is excited to see him going after what he wants, because what makes him happy makes her happy.

9. She Is an Amazing, Empathetic Listener

An insecure woman talks only about herself, all the time.

She may ask you a question, but after a few seconds she will redirect the conversation to herself.

She needs to impress basically anyone around her, and that’s the main reason she behaves like that.

The alpha female, instead, is confident, so she doesn’t have this need to talk about herself all the time. She doesn’t need to impress anyone.

And this also makes her a great listener.

She listens more than she talks, because she knows that anytime she allows someone to express their thoughts she can actually learn something new or understand more about someone else’s perspective.

In a relationship, she is her man’s safe haven. For him, she is that place where he can feel emotionally safe and talk about his struggles.

She is his source of physical and emotional support.

The reason behind all this is he knows she would never hurt him.

She is empathetic, and is able to actively listen without judging, which makes him feel understood and emotionally safe.

Recommended read: The 9 Most Powerful Traits of the Sigma Empath

10. She Would Never Cheat on Her Partner

You know who tends to cheat more frequently?

Emotionally dependent people. Why?

According to clinical psychologist Dr. Cherry D. Weber,

“A dependent person may be more likely to cheat, because, when they are not nurtured regularly, they tend to look for attention from someone outside the relationship that is more attentive.”

As we mentioned, one of the main traits of the alpha female is she is emotionally independent.

If she is in a healthy relationship, she won’t feel she’s lacking something. She won’t have this exaggerate need for attention emotionally dependent women have.

If she feels something’s off, she will assertively talk it out with her partner and they’ll ideally work together to find a solution.

If that doesn’t work, or if she simply feels unhappy and uncomfortable in the relationship, she will part ways with her partner, and she will do it with respect and grace.

But she would never choose the cheating path.

11. She Has a Healthy Relationship With Her Parents

When you see the alpha woman interacting with her parents, you’ll never see toxic or weird dynamics.

She’s usually not part of a drama family.

There are exceptions, obviously.

You might see women (and people in general) who grew up with toxic parents, who were able to become amazing, emotionally mature people and build healthy relationships. But again, these are rare exceptions.

In any case, an alpha woman will always treat her parents with love and respect. And the same goes for how she’ll treat her siblings.

12. She Is Not Arrogant, She Is Humble

As we mentioned, the alpha woman is emotionally independent, extremely confident, in love with her life, and she’s continuously pursuing her dreams. And she doesn’t put up with anyone’s buIIsh*t.

However, she’s not arrogant. You’ll see her pursuing her passions with love, curiosity, and an open mind, because she’s humble and she knows there’s always something she can learn.

In fact, she is an avid learner because she’s highly ambitious, and she knows that new knowledge always equals growth.


Here are a few common questions.

Do alpha men really like alpha females? Don’t they feel intimidated by them?

If we’re talking about emotionally mature, high-quality, confident men, then yes, alpha men want an alpha female by their side, as long as she is feminine in the relationship.

See, there are women who are highly ambitious and in touch with their masculine energy when it comes to pursue their goals; sometimes these women find it difficult to get in touch with their feminine energy when in a relationship. This is the type of woman alpha men usually don’t like.

Can I become an alpha female?

Yes. Not all alpha women were born the way they are.

As we mentioned before, some alpha women had to go through hard moments in their life and work a lot on themselves to become how they are now.

How can I become an alpha woman?

Observe alpha females, their traits, their habits, how they behave, and work on yourself to go in that direction.

Make sure your body language is feminine, elegant, and graceful. At the same time, make sure you show confidence, talk slowly, know what you want and go after it.

I suggest to go through this article a few times to have a clear idea of how an alpha woman actually looks like.

What are the traits of a true alpha female?

Here’s a quick recap of the traits of an alpha woman:
– She knows exactly what she wants,
– Loves her life,
– Sets exciting goals for herself,
– She would never settle for a beta male,
– Is loving and supporting with her man,
– Is not afraid to share her vulnerabilities,
– She is authentic,
– Encourages her partner to pursue his dreams and goals,
– Is an amazing, empathetic listener,
– Would never cheat on her partner, never,
– Has a healthy relationship with her parents,
– Is not arrogant, she is humble.

alpha female traits

Featured image: Shutterstock

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