In this post we’re going to discuss a few signs a guy likes you more than a friend and what you can do.
Let’s be honest: it’s easy to tell when a man likes you as more than a friend when you don’t like him back in the same way. You likely can see the signs and feel discomfort about it.
But when you like him, you might harbor doubts that he feels the same. Your insecurities can undermine the sometimes obvious signs that he’s into you — in more than a purely platonic way.
Clues He Likes You as More Than a Friend
If you’re not sure or don’t want to get your hopes up, it’s important to examine the signs. The following signs are common ways you can tell if he likes you as more than friend material. Pay attention, and you just might spot these signs in the wild.
1. He Lets You Know When He’s Single
When he’s single, he lets you know it. In fact, you might be the first person he tells. You might have had an inkling because it’s possible that he confided in you when there was trouble in paradise.
If you’re friends, it’s natural he’ll tell you when he’s going through a breakup. You’ll want to pay attention when it seems like he’s going out of his way to let you know and make it very clear that he’s now available.
2. He Initiates Contact
Does he reach out to you even more often than you contact him? This is what we call a sign. Yes, good friends stay in contact, but his regular, consistent contact could be a clue that he’s into you — as more than a friend.
3. He Goes Out of His Way to Help You
This guy steps up to help you. He’ll go out of his way for you, and you know you can count on him no matter what. This is the mark of a great friend, but if you combine this with a number of these other signs, it could be another positive indicator that he likes you in a more-than-friends way.
4. He Always Texts Back
Someone who’s interested in you as more than a friend will text you back immediately. Someone who has you in a friend zone might text you back when he gets around to it. This is another sign that he might have more than purely platonic feelings for you.
Just as an experiment, text him when he’s across the room. That smile that lights his face when he sees it’s from you? It’s all for you — and he just might be sending out more-than-friend energy.
Recommended read: Signs a Guy Really Likes You – 21 Ways to Know if He’s Into You
5. He’s Jealous of the People You Date
A friend might tell you if they don’t like the people you date. In fact, they should if they have concerns. But a friend doesn’t typically get jealous of you dating someone else. Someone who likes you in a romantic way may show signs of jealousy.
6. He Makes Time with You a Priority
One of the signs he likes you as more than a friend is he will make your time together a priority. He won’t make excuses or claim that he’s always busy. He’ll find the time to see you because he cares.
Yes, this is also the marker of a good friend. That’s why it can be so hard for you to decipher the level of his interest. Are you adding up the signs? You should be.
7. He Wants to Spend Time Alone with You
It’s not just that he makes time for you. He makes alone time with you. He expresses interest in getting together with you outside of your friend group.
You might find yourself alone at his house or alone at yours. If he’s creating time for the two of you to have one-on-one time, it could be that he’s waiting to make his move or allowing ample opportunity for the relationship to move in that direction.
Recommended read: 12 Signs a Guy Enjoyed the First Date with You
8. He Brings You Around His Friends and Family
Have you met his friends and family? Good friends often do. But this can be a further indicator that his interest in you is far from casual. Not everyone in his life meets the important people.
The fact that you’ve been brought into his inner circle is a good sign.
9. He’s Protective of You
A good friend will be protective of you. A good friend with a crush on you is protective of you times a million. He’ll go out of his way to make sure you’re safe and that no one messes with you.
He doesn’t just want a text when you’re home. He’s always looking out for you no matter what.
10. He Flirts with You More Than Other People
Flirty friends are fun. Does this one flirt with you more than he flirts with anyone else? There’s a difference between friendly flirting and flirting that shows active interest.
If you can’t tell the difference, ask a friend who has seen the two of you in action. They might be able to tell if it’s flirting as friends or testing the waters to see if there’s something more.
11. He Touches You Casually
Someone with a crush will touch you casually, and they’ll do it often. I’m not talking about a creepy touch on an uncomfortably long hug that ignores your attempts to wriggle away. The kind of touch is innocent. Leaning into you. A hand on your shoulder.
Reaching for your hand to help you up. A brush of your legs. If you’re paying close attention, you might notice that some of these touches aren’t coincidental. They’re intentional signs of interest.
Recommended read: 17 Signs He Wants You Badly Sexually
12. He’s Vulnerable with You
Someone who likes you romantically is likely to be more open and vulnerable with you than they are with other people. Does he open up about his thoughts and feelings? Does he let you have a glimpse into his inner world? This is particularly true when he tells you things that show he’s not perfect.
He’s not trying to show his best self. He’s letting you see his real self. This is a gift — and it might indicate he’s really into you.
13. He Asks for Your Advice
Friends ask friends for advice sometimes, but this guy — one who really likes you — asks for yours often. He cares about your opinion. He values what you have to say. He considers your views.
He might not ask other people for their views, but he always wants to know yours.
14. He Makes an Effort with His Grooming
Pay attention. Does he show up in filthy gym clothes or whatever he happened to pull out of his laundry basket in the morning, or does he make an effort with his grooming?
If you notice that he’s suddenly looking fine all the time, you might be picking up on his efforts to impress you. If the two of you are hanging out alone and he shows up looking his best, take note.
15. He Compliments You Often
This is one of the clearest signs he likes you more than a friend.
A friend might deliver compliments with ease, but a friend with a crush likely compliments you often. He’s always telling you how smart you are, how good you look, and how much he appreciates you. He checks you out, too, and you notice. This is more-than-friends stuff happening here.
16. He Leans In
Do you remember the Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman film While You Were Sleeping? It gives the perfect explanation of leaning in. If he’s talking to you and leaning his body toward yours, this is a sign he’s got more than friendly feelings for you.
He might be trying to keep the secret, but his body language could tell all.
17. He Remembers the Small Things
One of the most common signs he probably likes you more than a friend is he remembers the small things. You might have friend anniversaries even you don’t notice. He will though. He’s going to remember the little things you’ve told him if they’re a big deal to you.
Don’t be surprised if he mentions something that everyone else forgot. It’s a sign he cares — as a friend, or maybe more.
Recommended read: 6 Signs He Actually, Genuinely Loves You
18. He Gives You Gifts
The man who remembers the small things and pays attention to you just might surprise you with little gifts. Does he bring you back souvenirs from his trips? Does he show up with your favorite snack? Does he — and this is swoon-worthy — bring you a care package when you’re sick or home with cramps?
He might shower all his friends with little gifts, but if he only does this with you, maybe he wants to be more than friends.
19. He Makes Eye Contact Frequently
A friend with a crush will hold your eye contact frequently. While there are some exceptions with neurodivergent individuals, eye contact can be a sign of a crush.
Holding your gaze could be something he does because he just can’t look away from you.
20. He Hints About His Crush
Let’s be honest: a friend who wants to be more than your friend might make not-so-subtle references to his crush. For instance, he makes comments about how he would treat you if you two were dating. That’s a clue, by the way.
He might joke about how everyone thinks you two are soulmates. Pay attention to the hints that he’s crushing on you.
What To Do Now That You Know
If you see a lot of signs he likes you as more than a friend, there are some steps you can take if you choose to do so.
If You Like Him
- Initiate a conversation. Ask him directly how he feels about you. It might be uncomfortable, but it could clear the air.
- Be clear that you like him back. If you get the sense he likes you, reflect that back. Make it obvious you like him, too.
- Decide if you’re actually compatible. An uncomfortable truth is that you could like someone romantically who likes you romantically — and you still might not be a good match. If you don’t have compatible goals, values, or plans for the future, it’s best to acknowledge the interest but be clear that it can’t happen because you don’t want the same things.
- Ask him out. You don’t have to wait for him to ask you out. You can ask him as soon as you see the signals that he’s into you.
If You Don’t Like Him
- Initiate a conversation. This might be uncomfortable, but you need to know if he’s a friend or if he’s trying to escape the friend zone you’ve established. This could clear up some misunderstandings.
- Be kind but clear that you just don’t like him in that way. This may feel mean, but you don’t want to lead him on. It’s also a way to communicate that you’re only interested in a friendship with him, and he needs to respect that.
- Set firm boundaries. It’s important to let him know that flirty behavior that crosses lines won’t be tolerated. It’s okay for him to have a crush. It’s not okay for him to continue to do things that make you uncomfortable when you’ve clearly expressed you’re not interested in that way.
If You’re Not Sure
- Spend more time with him. Get to know him and see if your interest grows or wanes.
- Let the connection develop organically. If you might be interested, let it grow. See where it leads.
- Spend time thinking about what a relationship with him might look like. Consider what he might be like as a potential partner. Pay attention to how he treats past and present partners — and how he talks about them. What would change about your dynamic if you were dating?
- Consider the risks and rewards of dating. Is this someone you could be friends with if a relationship didn’t work out? Is this a person you like enough to risk losing the friendship? What if this is your person — are you willing to keep the friendship at the cost of something more intimate?
Friendship should be the foundation of a strong relationship. Too often, we find ourselves with lovers who were never really our friends. Sometimes, if we’re lucky, we find ourselves with friends who become lovers who value us at a deeper level.
Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash