Some friendships contain a spark. You know the one. It’s a spark of possibility, a hint that maybe you could be more. Maybe you’ve never explored it, but it’s certainly crossed your mind a time or two.
You wonder what it would be like to date this person, but you’re not sure if she feels the same. I think everyone has had a friendship like that in their lives. When we’re truly great friends with someone, it’s natural to wonder if it could ever be more. Here are a few signs she wants to be more than friends.
13 Signs She Wants to Be More Than Friends, According to a Former Therapist
There are signs she wants to be more than friends, but sometimes, you have to pay extra careful attention to see them. She is unlikely to advertise it unless she suspects you feel the same.
Still, the clues are there if you’ll observe them that she wants you to go from friends to lovers.
Why listen to me? I’m Crystal Jackson and I was a master’s level licensed therapist. I worked with couples and individuals and specialized in trauma recovery and empowerment. I now write content about relationships, self-improvement and psychology. My work has been featured on large publications such as Elite Daily, Your Tango, Positively Positive, and Mamamia.
1. She Doesn’t Nudge You Back into the Friendzone
When you flirt with her or make comments that indicate your interest, she doesn’t nudge you back into the friendzone by brushing you off or reminding you of why you aren’t compatible.
She actually entertains your flirtation with flirtation of her own, or she blushes but doesn’t refute what you’re saying. She seems to like it when you test the boundaries of your friendship.
If she isn’t interested in you as more than a friend, she will certainly corral you back into the friendzone quickly. She’ll check you on your flirtation and remind you of your friend status.
She may even mention a love interest so that it’s clear she’s not interested.
2. She Flirts with You Regularly
It’s another sign that she wants to be more than friends when she flirts with you regularly. Some people are naturally flirty, but if you know her well, you know when she’s being flirtatious with a romantic interest versus flirting with everyone for fun.
If you’ve long suspected that her flirtation with you is half-serious, it’s a good sign that she’s testing the waters.
3. She Reaches Out to Stay in Contact
You’ll notice that she’ll stay in contact if she wants to be more than friends. She’ll text, message, or call to see how you are.
She’ll even check up and see when you want to hang out — something she’ll suggest often. And she won’t let the communication dry up if she’s interested.
You also don’t feel like she’s just reaching out because she’s bored and has nothing to do or no one else to talk to. You can tell that she’s reaching out to you specifically because she enjoys your company.
You’re the one she wants to talk to — not just any voice on the line or text on her phone.
4. She Mentions When She’s Single
The friend who wants to be more than friends will mention when she’s single. She wants you to know in case you decide to shoot your shot.
Of course, this is a normal thing for a friend to mention to another friend, but it’s how she says it that’s important.
If you’re the first person she reaches out to, it’s possible that she trusts you at a level where you’re the one she wants to talk it out with first.
But it might also be because she’s interested in you and needs you to know she’s available just in case you’re interested in her, too.
As an addedum to this, when she’s in a relationship, she will likely put space in between the two of you because she sees the potential in your friendship as a violation of her relationship.
5. She Checks to See if You’re Single
The friend who wants to be more than friends also checks routinely to see if you’re single. While this is also a normal friend question, regularly asking might be suspect.
She wants to know when you’re available and might even follow it up by letting you know she is, too.
She likely spends more time around you when she’s single than when she’s in a relationship, and yet you never are made to feel like a consolation prize.
6. She Laughs at Your Jokes
Your friends probably laugh at your jokes. Even if it’s accompanied by a groan and eye roll. But this friend, the one who wants to be more than friends, thinks you’re particularly funny.
She’s always laughing when you’re around, and it’s clear that she has fun with you.
7. She Lights Up When She Sees You
A woman who wants to be more than friends will light up when she sees you. Her whole face just illuminates because she’s happy to be in your company. She might hide it in the next second, but her delighted reaction tells no lies.
Is she genuinely this happy to see everyone? Probably not. It could be that she sees you as a close friend, but it’s also possible that she’s hoping you could be more.
8. She Casually Touches You Often
A woman with a crush will casually touch you, and she’ll do it often. A brush of the hands, touch to your shoulder, or even sitting close enough to touch you are all key indicators that she wants to be more than friends.
She’s probably not even doing it on purpose. She does it because she can’t seem to help herself.
If you’re into her, you probably encourage this sort of interaction. However, if it makes you uncomfortable at all, it’s okay to tell her that you’d prefer that she didn’t touch you as often.
If you’re in a relationship or just don’t see her that way, you can put a boundary into place if this gets to be too much.
9. She Asks Mutual Friends About You
A woman who is interested in being more than friends with you will likely ask mutual friends about you.
She might be testing the waters to see if you ever mention her or checking in to see if you’re dating anyone. This is likely her way of getting inside information about you.
10. She Interacts with Your Social Media Account(s)
Your friend who wants to be more than a friend will also regularly interact with your social media account(s).
She watches your TikToks, checks on your Instagram, and shows up wherever you have a presence to like your reels, comment on your videos, or hype up your selfies. You know she’s following you because she’s not doing it silently without letting you know.
This could be normal behavior for her, but it might seem like she pays particular attention to your accounts.
Someone with a crush is very likely to pop up across your social media just to see what you’re doing and to look at your pictures. It’s adorable — as long as it doesn’t make you uncomfortable in any way.
11. She’s Comfortable Being Physically Close to You
Yes, she’ll touch you casually, but she also shows that she’s comfortable being physically comfortable with you in general.
I had a close friend I’d cozy up to spoon-to-spoon in a hammock or lie down on the couch with when we watched movies.
It was a part of our relationship that I simply took for granted. And if you’re wondering if it had that special spark, it did. If you’re wondering if anything ever happened, well, that’s a story for another day.
A close friend will sit near you to where your legs or feet are touching. They’ll brush your hand and not move away. Hugs are lingering.
Shoulders brush and stay there leaning. This physical contact could be an indicator of a close friendship, but if you wonder if it could be more, it’s okay to find out.
12. She Tries to Make You Jealous
A friend who wants to be more might use her dating history to try to make you jealous. She might flirt with other people in front of you.
She might even brag about her exploits and experience to see if you’re the least bit interested. It may not be mature, but it could be her way of trying to find out if you are attracted to and interested in dating her.
Most people fear rejection. If she is trying to see if she can make you jealous, it’s possible that she’s trying to find out what she wants to know without embarrassing herself or potentially ruining the friendship she values.
Cut her some slack and let her know where you stand.
13. She Says the Two of You Have Power Couple Potential
One of the signs she probably wants to be more than friends is she mentions how the two of you would be a power couple, even if she’s joking.
She’s obviously thought about it, or she wouldn’t mention it. The fact that she floats this out as an idea could be an indication that she wants to know what you think and if you’ve ever considered it.
It could be idle curiosity … or it could be so much more.
When She Wants to Be More Than Friends
Some friendships just have that extra degree of something. You know that they’re special. There’s attraction and chemistry. Plus, you just plain enjoy spending time together.
You could see it developing into a relationship, and you already know that relationships built on a friendship can be strong and lasting.
If she wants to be more than friends and you don’t, it’s very possible that you’ll have to have an uncomfortable conversation about this, or you’ll have to find a way to let her know in no uncertain terms that you only ever want to be friends.
This can be hard because you don’t want to hurt her feelings, but it would be far worse to do anything that leads her on now only to break her heart later. Be a friend by being honest with her.
If she is showing that she wants to be more than friends and you feel the same, talking is required here, too.
It’s possible that you’ve misinterpreted her behavior and she’s not interested, but it’s equally possible that she wants what you do. You’ll never truly know unless you ask or make a move.
Yes, you might risk ruining the friendship, but if it’s a strong friendship, being honest about your feelings is unlikely to spoil it. Plus, as the saying goes, if you don’t ask, the answer is always no.
If you really like her, consider taking that leap of faith to find out if your suspicions are accurate. Maybe you’re both waiting for the other to make a move.
You could be in for a long wait. Instead, clear the air and ask. You might not hear the answer you want, but what if you do? If you want it, you have to ask yourself if the relationship potential is worth the risk.
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