If you are looking for the signs a man wants a serious relationship with you, then this article is for you.
Past experience has taught me that you can’t always trust what someone says they want from a relationship. There are a lot of people who say they want a serious relationship who are incapable of summoning boyfriend energy.
In truth, they want something casual but know that we might not be interested in them if they say so.
Then, there are the people who do the opposite. They say they want something casual but then start hinting at a more serious relationship — even if we stated upfront we wanted to keep it casual.
It’s the bait and switch most of us have experienced at some point in time.
Of course, it’s possible that people simply change their minds. The person who wanted something serious might realize that they haven’t found a good fit.
The person who wanted to keep it casual might discover that they have found a relationship they’d like to keep.
We might feel deceived, but sometimes, it’s unintentional — perhaps even unavoidable.
11 Signs He Wants a Serious Relationship with You
There are signs that he wants to keep things casual, but there are also signs that he’s getting serious about you.
If you pay attention, you might notice any of these behaviors within the relationship that indicate he’s interested in a serious relationship with you.
Why listen to me? I was a master’s level licensed therapist. I worked with couples and individuals and specialized in relationships, empowerment and trauma recovery. I now write content about dating, love, self-improvement and psychology. My work has been featured on large publications such as Elite Daily, Your Tango, Positively Positive, Mamamia, and The Good Men Project.
1. He Opens Up About His Past
A man who wants a serious relationship with you will open up about his past. He won’t just tell you the sanitized version that makes him look good.
He’ll tell you what he did wrong and even what he wishes he’d done differently. He allows himself to be vulnerable by sharing his past experiences and how they influenced him.
Vulnerability takes enormous courage. A man who is sharing his flaws and not just his strengths is communicating that he feels safe with you. It’s very likely that he is taking the relationship seriously.
2. He Lets You Know He’s Not Dating Anyone Else
A man who wants a serious relationship with you will let you know that he’s not dating anyone else. He’ll make it clear that you’re his priority and that he’s no longer interested in purusing other options.
And he’ll be direct about this even if he doesn’t yet ask to be exclusive or insist that you stop dating other people.
He just wants you to know that he’s sure about you — even if you’re still not sure about him. It’s an indication that he’s serious that doesn’t come with any expectations.
He just wants you to know so that you can make an informed decision about him. It could also be his way of testing the waters to see if you’re equally serious about him.
3. He Posts Pictures of You
A man who posts pictures of you or of the two of you together is showing that he’s serious about you. He’s not trying to hide your relationship or brush it off as if you were merely a friend.
He’s dating you, and he doesn’t mind if everyone knows. He might even be showing you off because he’s so proud to be dating you.
This is an indicator that he wants a serious relationship with you. He’s showing an openness with the people in his life about the connection with you.
If he’s the one who’s taking the picture, sharing it, or tagging you in photos, this is a great indicator he’s serious.
4. He Mentions Exclusivity
Another clear sign that he’s getting serious about you is when he brings exclusivity into the conversation.
When he starts talking about seeing you and only you and floats the possibility that you only date him, he’s checking to see if you’re ready.
The fact that he’s bringing up exclusive relationships is a pretty obvious way of finding out if you want what he does.
He might ask directly to be exclusive, or he might just mention it as a possibility. It depends on his level of confidence in what he wants and his level of confidence in what he thinks you want.
If he’s sure you’re on the same page, he’s more likely to put it as a direct request rather than an indirect inquiry.
5. His Friends and Family Know About You
Another way he’ll show he wants a serious relationship with you is when he tells his friends and family all about you. It’s possible he talks about everyone he dates, but this is different.
He mentions that he’s told them about you. He wants you to know that you’re an important part of his life — important enough to mention to the people he loves best.
6. He Invites You to Meet Friends and Family
You might realize he’s serious about a relationship with you when he tells his friends and family about you, but it’s a whole new level of serious when he invites you to meet them.
It’s possible he’s vetting you to make sure you are a good match for the people he loves, but it’s equally possible that he wants to show you off. He sees a future with you and wants you to know the other people in his life.
The reality is that meeting the family is a test even if it’s not meant as one. You want to make sure you like the people in his life and that they like you.
While that’s not necessarily a dealbreaker, it really should be. The people in his life reflect who he is, and if you don’t like them, it could be a red flag about aspects of his character you may not be seeing clearly.
Similarly, his people might evaluate the relationship and think you’re not a good match.
Naturally, sometimes people can jump to conclusions and find out that they’re wrong, but sometimes, others can see clearly what we can’t.
7. He Wants to Update the Relationship Status
If he states outright that he wants to update the relationship status with you, he’s serious about you.
Unless he treats all relationships casually, a relationship status update usually implies something a little more serious. It’s also a way to publicly declare that the two of you are a couple. It lets everyone know you’re off the market — but that he is, too.
8. He Talks About a Future with You
Another behavior that will let you know he wants a serious relationship is when he talks about a future with you.
If he’s referring to future plans and including you in them, it’s likely that he’s either testing out the idea — and your response to it — or that he already sees a future with you in it. This is a great sign if you can also see a future with him.
Talks about the future don’t necessarily have to include matrimony or starting a family. He could mention future holidays or vacations.
He might refer to cohabitation or introducing his pets to yours. There will be plenty of signs that when he envisions the future, you’re in it.
9. He Puts Effort into the Relationship
A man who puts effort into the relationship from the start is one who is interested in a serious relationship.
However, I’ll add a caveat to this: If the effort is only maintained at the start and then disappears, that’s love-bombing and not a sign that he’s serious.
But if he puts in an effort in the beginning and maintains it, he’s showing you that he cares enough about you to work for the relationship.
Effort should be a bare minimum. Sadly, it’s often not.
Someone who wants a serious relationship with you will make the effort to stay in contact, plan dates, and let you know that they care. They won’t leave interactions up to chance.
They’ll do what they can to keep the connection and nurture it.
10. He Wants to Resolve Problems
You might also notice that he wants to resolve problems. He doesn’t ignore them or try to pretend they aren’t there.
He is interested in finding solutions. This is a clear sign that he wants a serious relationship with you and that he realizes that resolving problems is an important part of that. It’s also a good sign that he has the maturity and communication skills to resolve conflicts as they arise.
Part of wanting to resolve problems is that he’s also willing to be accountable and make relationship repairs. He validates your feelings and is willing to admit when he’s wrong.
He’s a person who can apologize and do his best to make amends when necessary. These are all aspects of healthy relationships and are great traits in a serious partner.
11. He Tells You He’s in Love with You
Another key indicator that he wants a serious relationship with you is when he tells you he’s in love with you.
Unless he throws the “L” word around like confetti, this likely means that he wants a serious relationship with you. This is a significant moment in any relationship.
Will you say it back? How do you feel when he says it? Does it feel too soon — or perfect timing? Regardless of your response, this is a pretty big clue that he wants to be serious.
Are You Ready for a Serious Relationship?
Once you realize that he wants to be serious with you, you need to ask yourself if you’re ready for a serious relationship — and if you’re ready for a serious relationship with him.
Those are two separate considerations. You might be ready for a serious relationship but don’t see a future with him. In this case, he’s not for you no matter how much you wish you felt differently.
If you do want a serious relationship with him, you have to decide if you’re ready to be exclusive and to update your relationship status. It’s important to talk about what you both want for the future. You might be serious about each other but have different long-term goals.
Be honest with yourself and with him about what you want and need — and what you don’t. If one of you wants children and the other doesn’t, it’s not going to work. If one of you wants marriage and one doesn’t, it won’t work out.
If you can see cohabitation as an option but he doesn’t want that, it’s another barrier to long-term relationship success. If he’s allergic to dogs and you’re a lifetime dog lover and dog owner, that might not work.
A word of caution
You might not want to face the fact that you can love someone and want a relationship with them and still not be able to make it work.
Have the hard discussion upfront and see if there are areas where you’re willing to compromise. You might find you’re just as compatible as you hoped.
And if you don’t? You’ll have the important information you need to make the right decision, which is rarely the easy one.
If you see the signs he wants a serious relationship with you, you still get to decide what you want — and when you want it. Look for the signs.
The two of you might have the soulmate energy you’re looking for, and he just might be searching for a clue that you feel it, too.
Recommended reads
- 10 Clear Signs He Is Getting Serious About You
- 19 Signs He Genuinely Loves You, According to a Former Therapist
- How to Tell if a Guy Likes You: 22 Clear Signs
- 9 Clear Signs a Guy Wants You to Chase Him – And What to Do
Photo by Jéssica Oliveira on Unsplash