Welcome to our fourth interview of our Dating Advice Series. Today’s guest is Katie Ziskind.
Katie is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the owner of Wisdom Within Counseling in Niantic, Connecticut.
She runs a team of holistic, expressive marriage and family therapists and helps families thrive.
With her team, Katie helps anxious children, depressed, self-harming teens with eating disorders, and LGBTQIA+ curious young adults.
They offer painting, art therapies, yoga therapies, music, child centered play therapies, walk and talk, and improv and drama therapies for confidence and positive coping tools.
Katie also helps distant, fighting couples build calm communication tools and a loving bond.
The following is the fourth interview of our Dating Advice Series, featuring Katie.
What do you think about dating apps?
Dating apps can be a great way for people to get to know each other, when they would never otherwise have an opportunity to connect in life.
Dating apps can allow you to feel the sense of power, control, and authority and who you are dating.
You can talk with someone through messaging and send photos back-and-forth to get to know each other before meeting in person.
Dating apps can be a great way to bring people together based on interests and hobbies.
What are some tips you would give to someone who has to go on a first date?
On a first date, stay playful, lighthearted, and positive.
If you don’t like the person, you don’t have to outright be blunt or tell them.
Don’t stand up the first date or be rude.
Wear something nice, clean, and make sure you’ve recently bathed and showered.
Before a first date, think of a few open-ended questions that might be good to ask your date, so you don’t feel frozen up in the moment with social anxiety.
Make sure that you are prepared to pay for the first dates meal. Do not make your date pay for their own meal or this will put you in the friend zone.
What are some great conversation starters for a first date? Why?
Great conversation starters for a first date can include:
- What books are you reading?
- Do you have pets?
- What are your pets like?
- Tell me the story of how you got your pets.
- Tell me about your favorite hobbies.
What are some great texts someone can send after a good date? Why?
After a good date, take a moment and craft a creative and thoughtful text.
Do not jump right to some thing physical.
Instead, complement them on some thing you remember from what they shared with you on the first date.
Let them know that you received and heard them. Bring up something in the text that really amazed you about who they are really inspired you an offer that in a text.
Let them know you’d like to do it again if you feel that way.
Say they wanted to travel to Italy. You could say something like, “It was so wonderful to go out to dinner with you tonight. It really inspires me that you want to travel to Italy. Would love to get food again with you. How is Friday night?”
What are some original date ideas?
Going on a date can be a fun outing and you can go many places.
If you are an active person, you might even bring some silliness and playfulness and go to trampoline park.
If you are a wine connoisseur, you might go to a local vineyard. Or, if it is nice out in the summer, you might go to the local farmers market and the café within walking distance.
You might go to a movie, but make sure you go to food before after because you will want an opportunity to talk and have a conversation to get to know each other better.
How long should someone wait before entering a more serious relationship with someone?
It really depends. Each person grieves the loss of an old relationship in a different way and takes a different length of time.
Make sure that you have done your grieving.
Work with a therapist to overcome any negative beliefs you have that are lingering from your past break up. If you were still crying over your ex, it is not the time to begin to date.
Make sure that you feel lighthearted, open, and neutral to know that you are ready to date.
In your opinion, what are some personality traits men find irresistible in women?
Personality traits men find irresistible and women include listening, comforting, nurturing, honest, gentle, motherly, soothing.
It depends on the man. Some men find these soothing traits irresistible.
On the other hand, a different man may find traits like powerful, brave, athletic, fierce, unstoppable, entrepreneur, domineering, or authoritarian more attractive and irresistible. It is different for each man.
In your opinion, what are some personality traits women find irresistible in men?
Personality traits women find irresistible in men would be the same as above, depending on the man.
How can people find you?
People can find me by visiting my website wisdomwithinct.com.
Do you have a book/service/app you would like our readers to know about?
New clients can get started by booking a free phone consultation online on my website.
It was amazing having you as guest of our dating advice series, Katie. Thank you for your time!