Amber Lee is a Certified Matchmaker & Certified Coach. She’s been a professional matchmaker since 1998 and she is the CEO & Co-Founder of Select Date Society.
Select Date Society is a luxury matchmaking firm working with elite singles throughout the United States.
The following is the third interview of our Dating Advice Series, featuring Amber.
What do you think about dating apps?
Dating apps can connect you to millions of singles throughout the world, so they certainly give you a way to meet a potential partner from the comfort of your own home.
If you want to date successfully on apps, you need to be savvy and learn how to spot potential scammers.
You also need to dedicate the time it takes to sift through potential matches (typically 10+ hours per week.)
I always tell my clients that dating apps can often feel like you are fishing in the wrong pond.
You may connect with other singles, but they may not be the type of person you’re looking to have a relationship with.
Recommended read: 10 Best Conversation Starters for Tinder That Will Help You Stand Out
What are some tips you would give to someone who has to go on a first date?
- Make an effort to make a great first impression. Dress appropriately and take time to look your best. Show up on time. Know something about who you are meeting. If you met on an app, take time to review their profile before your first date!
- Don’t take yourself too seriously! If you are too rigid, the date will end up feeling like a job interview. Let the conversation flow naturally and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.
- Smile! Men and women both report being more attracted to someone who smiles easily vs someone who doesn’t. Find a way to inject humor in the conversation, laugh, and have fun!
What are some great texts someone can send after a first date?
“It was so great meeting you! Next time is on me!” or “It was great meeting you! Let’s go bowling soon… I can’t wait to see your skills!”
Start the text with saying that it was great meeting them and then add something that makes it clear you would like to see them again.
If they paid for the first date, offer to pay for the next one. If they mentioned that they love bowling, tell them you can’t wait to see them play.
Find a way to express interest.
What are some original date ideas?
- Take a class together (cooking, painting, mixology, etc.)
- Get outdoors with a hike or bike ride.
- Go to a wine or craft beer tasting.
- Be big kids at an amusement park or adult arcade.
How long should someone wait before entering a more serious relationship with someone?
There is no right or wrong amount of time to decide to be in a committed relationship. Some relationships develop quickly and others grow over time.
The important thing is to let the relationship develop organically without adding pressure to the situation.
In your opinion, what are some personality traits men find irresistible in women?
- Confidence – Men love women who carry themselves with confidence.
- Femininity – Men always tell me they want to meet a woman who is soft and warm.
- Humor – When a woman laughs easily (especially at his jokes) he’ll be hooked!
In your opinion, what are some personality traits women find irresistible in men?
- Masculinity – Women appreciate a man who takes the lead, has confidence, and can make decisions.
- Humor – Women love a man who can make them laugh!
- Responsibility – Women want to respect and admire their partner. This means that he makes responsible decisions in life.
Recommended read: 8 Signs a Shy Girl Actually Likes You a Lot
How can people find you?
Do you have a book/online course/app you would like our readers to know about?
My Co-Founder, Sandra Myers, and I are working on a book now, so follow me on social media so you can see when it comes out!