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How to Really Keep a Man Interested: 10 Golden Secrets

In today’s post we will talk in detail about how to keep a man interested and keep the relationship balanced.

Last week, I visited my best friend Anaya’s place for her mother’s birthday.

The very next day Anaya’s boyfriend called her for a short drive. She was out for about two hours and came back home in tears but went straight to her room.

That night, I asked her about what happened and why she was so upset. To my surprise, she told me that her boyfriend, Rohan had broken up with her. They had been together for almost three years, and their relationship seemed perfect. So, the breakup came out as a shock to me.

Anaya told me Rohan didn’t feel the same about their relationship anymore. He didn’t want to stay in a relationship where he wasn’t feeling invested and interested emotionally. 

I could understand Rohan had all the right to communicate his feelings.

But I felt bad for Anaya. It was a shock for her. And she felt she simply wasn’t able to keep a man.

This led me to dig a bit deeper into this issue. I started researching the topic and read the opinion of many relationship experts on how to keep a man interested.

Are you also with a partner who doesn’t seem to show much interest? 

Do you want to make a conscious effort to keep your man interested and in love with you? If yes, you’re in the right place.

In this article you’ll find some practical tips that can help you enjoy an exciting and loving relationship with your man.

The Importance of Keeping Your Guy Interested

Romantic novels and movies taught us that true love doesn’t require much effort. However, the reality is a long-lasting relationship takes a lot of work, says Lisa Blum, Psy.D

And of course, there has to be a mutual effort between you and your man to keep the relationship exciting and fun.

When you’re trying to keep your guy interested, it’s not about chasing him or letting him take advantage of you.

Men often become complacent and stop making efforts once they get comfortable in a relationship. Which drives women mad.

However, women get comfortable too. They stop taking care of themselves, seeing their friends, and doing the things they love. They place their energy on the relationship instead of focusing it on themselves.

To spice things up again with your man, all you have to do is focusing your energy on being the best version of yourself, both inside and outside the relationship.

Be that special person he fell in love with, and things will start to change eventually. Know you might ask, “How can I do that exactly?”

Well, let’s focus on that.

How to Really Keep a Man Interested, According to Experts

Here are some expert tips you can rely on to keep a man interested – even if you have just slept with him and he’s playing hot and cold.

These tips will help you make him fall for you again. They will also help you grow as a partner.

1. Express gratitude and appreciation

Though they never confess it, men like being appreciated. When you praise your boyfriend or life partner for his qualities, personality, or the things he does to make you feel special, he feels valued.

Taking your man for granted is the worst thing you could do in a relationship. Simply expecting him to be there for you would push him back. It’s always better to acknowledge his efforts and express gratitude.

When you acknowledge and appreciate his efforts, it makes your man feel loved, says relationship coach Jordan Gray. The best part is that you can start praising him from this moment onward, regardless of how many years you’ve been together. This is the most basic and effortless way to keep your man interested in you.

2. Prioritize communication over complaints

In a relationship, people start knowing each other inside out. It’s a good thing to understand your partner’s strengths and weaknesses. 

But it’s wrong to expect from your boyfriend that he must read your mind. 

Because when he fails to do so, it hurts your expectations. And without even realizing it, you start complaining and blaming him for things beyond his understanding.

Complaining won’t do any good for the relationship. If you want your man to stay interested in the relationship, start communicating your heart out. In 2021, a team of researchers also confirmed that communicating clearly about your needs with your partners prevents confusion in a relationship.

3. Respect his personal space

As Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP explains in an article published in Psychology Today, being able to give your partner some space is essential if you want your relationship to succeed.

So, don’t panic when your boyfriend spends time with his friends or away from you. It’s okay to convey that you’re missing him at times. But constantly checking on him when he spends some time away from you isn’t a healthy behavior.

You need to respect his personal space and show your trust him. This also presents you as an emotionally independent and confident woman – which most men find quite attractive.

When a man feels free to be himself in a relationship and doesn’t feel in a cage, his interest increases. So, avoid being too clingy or insecure whenever he’s spending time apart. Instead, give him time to miss you.

4. Maintain an individual life outside the relationship

As I mentioned, while nurturing your relationship, it’s also essential to maintain an individual life outside of that relationship.

Don’t forget to meet your friends, pursue your career goals, and become a better version of yourself in every area of your life.

It’s not healthy to burden your partner with the responsibility of making you happy, marriage blogger, Patty Newbold tells Bustle.

Keeping your man interested doesn’t mean controlling his life or taking your decisions based on his approval. In fact, the opposite is true. It’s about developing a deeper understanding that nothing could deteriorate your relationship.

Making a few adjustments and working on becoming a better partner is great. But never compromise on things that make you unique just to please your man and spend more time with him.

Although at first you may think you’re being there for your partner, it might cause resentment and frustration into your relationship in the long term.

5. Don’t feel insecure about his female friends

When your man is away, you should show confidence and trust. That’s the behavior of a woman who knows how to keep a man interested.

However, this is not easy. I know. Especially if you know he’s hanging out with female friends and colleagues.

Now, let me tell you this: if he spends time with his female friends or colleagues, the best thing you can do is behaving as if you don’t care. This is the only thing that will make you stand out.

Remember, it’s his life, and you don’t want to be the toxic girlfriend who controls his actions.

There’s no need to be insecure if he has just some female friends or colleagues. Instead, start working on developing a secure attachment style.

Also, it would be difficult for you to get along with his female friends if you don’t know them very well.

So, consider spending some time with them, and try to get to know them better and become friends with them.

Your man would appreciate this effort which can reinforce his interest in you.

Feeling jealous is normal when you see your guy with other women. But as long as he respects you when he’s hanging out with his female friends, you shouldn’t act jealous.

If anything in particular is bothering you about his female friends, you should assertively share those concerns with him and handle the situation maturely.

Above all, trust him and give him sufficient space to lead his personal life.

Obviously, if you see him flirting with one of his friends or coworkers, you may want to consider giving up on that relationship. Because in that case he would be crossing the line.

6. Put some effort into looking good

Another important habit here is to take good care of your appearance. And you should do it no just to look good, but also – and especially – to feel good about yourself.

So, don’t miss out on your workout or grooming routines.

Regardless of the many years you’ve spent together, dressing well to impress your man is a way of reminding him what he liked about you when you two met.

Psychologist Sonali Kukreja suggests that maintaining a good physical appearance is one of the most effective ways to keep a partner interested.

This also shows you love yourself and take good care of your physical and mental health.

When you make a conscious effort to look your best, it reflects in your personality and it positively affects your confidence. It keeps your man attracted and hooked to you.

7. Try new things together

Explore new things with your partner, if you want to keep the spark alive. Spending enough time together develops familiarity and comfort between partners. And over time both the partners stop making efforts to please each other. Or they tend to do it less.

However, if you want to keep your man interested, trying new things together is one of the best ways to reconnect and revitalize your relationship.

Explore new places, try new experiences, and get out of your comfort zone together. It will help you remain interesting and irreplaceable to your guy in the long run.

Inviting newness and creativity into your relationship brings excitement and pleasure. This shows your man how passionately you want to grow with him.

8. Don’t shy away from taking the initiative in bed

If you’re comfortable being physically intimate with your guy and try new things in bed, this tip will keep your relationship on track. 

Try to learn about his fantasies and surprise him by trying them. If you always depend on your man to initiate things in bed, your love life may become monotonous.

Instead, start taking control in bed from time to time to enhance his curiosity. 

Your confidence and boldness are the most alluring qualities that can keep your man attracted to you. Men appreciate it when women show interest in new sexual experiences and initiate the first step, confirms psychosexual therapist Dr. Ruth.

9. Encourage him to pursue his passion and interests

“Go and have fun. If it makes you happy, I’m happy.”

This should be your attitude.

Men who are passionate about their hobbies and interests love to see this reflected in their partners. It’s no secret that they want to have a partner who understands and appreciates them for who they are. 

It’s okay if you don’t like the sport he loves to play, but you can always encourage him to keep participating.

Even if you and your partner have different hobbies and personal interests, you can talk about your passions and learn from each other. Your man will appreciate the effort if you show interest in things he enjoys and finds fascinating, explains relationship expert Ratika Rai.

When you talk about his interests and passions openly, he ultimately feels drawn toward you. Listening to your guy’s likes and dislikes and encouraging him to follow his passions are incredible ways to keep him interested.

Recommended read: Feminine Energy: What It Is and 9 Ways to Increase It

10. Avoid playing hard to get

As Sira mentioned in another article, playing hard to get often backfires. And it’s not the smartest move to make, if you want to keep a man interested.

It’s fine not to open up very soon in a relationship and take things slow. It’s great to be busy and pursue your hobbies. You can be playful and leave him excited and curious to know you further.

However, being mysterious on purpose and making him wait for you on purpose isn’t the best approach to build a long-term relationship.

Playing too hard to get can negatively affect your relationship. Most men recognize when a woman is playing games and it’s usually a turn off for them.

A much better approach is to express your feelings to let him know that you also want to be with him.

Try to understand his needs and expectations. This helps keep your man interested and foster a long-lasting healthy relationship.

Final Thoughts

Most people want to be in a loving and fulfilling relationship. However, in any relationship both partners should take full responsibility to maintain the spark alive in the long term.

With time, couples somehow get busy with daily routines and lose that spark. As soon as both partners stop making efforts for each other, all the excitement start to fade away, and life becomes boring.

But you can still take charge to fix things and lead a fulfilling life with your partner. If you feel your man is somehow losing interest, you can always do something about it.

Whether you’re in a relationship or not, you can only be in charge of your actions and emotions.

Here’s a summary of the things women can do to have a loving and successful relationship with their men.

  1. Express gratitude and appreciation,
  2. Prioritize communication over complaints,
  3. Respect his personal space,
  4. Maintain an individual life outside the relationship,
  5. Don’t feel insecure about his female friends,
  6. Put some effort into looking good,
  7. Try new things together,
  8. Don’t shy away from taking the initiative in bed,
  9. Encourage him to pursue his passion and interests,
  10. Avoid playing hard to get.

Photo by Tiraya Adam on Unsplash

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