You might be familiar with the commitment phobe, the emotionally unavailable man who sprints away at the mere mention of long-term partnership. You might recognize every single red flag and warning sign of a man like that — but would you recognize the signs he wants to marry you?
These signs might be rare. You might have to squint to recognize them because you don’t often see them in the wild. You’re too used to having to track the cagey man with one foot out the door. You don’t know how to deal with the man who’s ready to unpack his bag and stay.
12 Signs He Wants to Marry You
The good news is that there are clear signs that a man is ready for marriage. For instance, if he’s down on one knee and asking with a ring in hand, that’s a pretty big clue. But what are some of the more subtle signs that he’s ready to take that next step?
1. He Plans for Your Future Together
Most relationships that aren’t casual involve planning a future together. It could be as simple as mapping out the holidays and deciding where you want to vacation. As the relationship grows, your plans should include each other more and more.
A man who is ready for marriage is going to be making those future plans. He’ll talk about the future; he won’t run from any mention of it. You’ll notice that he’s looking forward in a positive way, and he might even be the one to initiate those conversations.
2. He Has a Positive View of Marriage — and Lets You Know
This is one of the signs he probably wants to marry you.
While the commitment-avoidant man will tell you all the reasons marriage is the worst, a man who is ready to get married will express positive views of marriage and long-term commitment.
He might be subtle in expressing them, but you’ll notice that he’s pro-marriage … even if he wasn’t when you met him. A change of heart like this could be a good sign that he’s decided he’d take the risk on you.
3. His Family Already Treat You Like a Part of Their Family
Does his family refer to you as one of the family? Are you included as the automatic plus-one just like a spouse?
It could be that they just have good manners, but it’s also possible that they realize you’re going to be around for a while.
4. He Wants to Grow Old with You
Saying that he wants to grow old with you is one of the sweetest signs that the man you’re with is getting ready for marriage.
He’s thinking about the relationship in the long-term — in a “til death do us part” sort of way. This is powerful. This might not mean he wants to rush down the aisle this very second, but it’s a good sign that he’s preparing for next steps.
5. You’ve Noticed Him Observing Your Ring Size
Has your partner weirdly been checking out your ring size or fiddling with your jewelry? Presumably, he’s not looking to steal and pawn it.
It’s possible that he’s just decided it’s time for a little ring shopping, and it occurs to him he doesn’t know what size you wear. He might even lead you casually by some jewelry stores to see if the topic comes up. If he does this, he’s definitely testing the waters.
6. He Talks About Children or Being a Stepdad to Yours
This is one of the signs he probably wants to marry you.
A man who is talking about family planning or being a stepparent to your kids could be ready for marriage. It shows that he’s thinking not just of you but of the family you could make together.
This isn’t a casual thing to do. It’s serious, and it shows that he’s considering that long-term future, which could involve marriage.
7. He’s Unbothered When People Ask the Two of You About Marriage
Nosy people ask when the two of you are going to get hitched, and he’s not annoyed. He might think it’s funny, or he may gently deflect. He’s not bothered about it.
He even seems pretty positive about the whole thing, which eases the awkwardness of people sticking their noses into your business. Marriage may already be on his mind.
8. He’s Saving Money
It could be a sign that he’s preparing for marriage when he starts saving money. Rings are expensive. So are weddings and honeymoons. Add in houses and kids and all the other aspects of marriage, and there are many things to save up to cover.
Suddenly overhauling his finances isn’t a guarantee that he’s ready for marriage, but it certainly could be a sign that he’s thinking more about the future and what might be needed. Combined with the other signs, it’s a positive indicator that the relationship is moving in a healthy direction.
9. He Comments More About Weddings and Marriage
Is he mentioning weddings and marriage a lot lately? This could be because he’s got marriage on the mind and love on the brain.
He might not realize just how much this is seeping into his conversation — but you likely do. He might be trying to see how you feel, but it’s also possible that he’s trying the idea on for size to see how it feels to him to talk about it.
10. He Speculates About Where He’d Want to Get Married
This is one of the clearest signs he wants to marry you.
When a guy starts voluntarily telling you where he’d get married, that’s a pretty big sign that he’s getting ready for marriage.
These conversations may be pretty detailed, which means he might be prepared for that next step. It’s possible he’s trying to see if you’re on the same page about the relationship — and about potential nuptials.
11. He Plans an Extra Special Occasion for No Reason
A man who makes a plan for an extra special occasion for no reason at all may have a proposal up his sleeve. You don’t know this for sure, but it’s usually a pretty positive sign if champagne lands on the table and all the servers start acting like they’re excited long before a speech is made or ring comes out.
They could be in on the secret. An extra special occasion could be the signal that he’s not just ready; it’s time to pop the question.
12. His Proposal Shows Clear Purpose and Intentions
An obvious sign that he wants to get married comes when he asks you. Did he make an effort and show some consideration for what you’d like? Did he clearly state why he wants to marry you in a way that made you feel good?
A man who just mentions marriage and expects you to have a formal agreement without bothering to propose might not actually be ready for marriage.
Someone who took the time to shop for a ring, prepare a proposal, and take the risk of asking shows that they are willing to do the work to take a risk on you. It doesn’t have to be an expensive ring or an outlandish proposal to show thought, consideration, and love.
Is Your Relationship Ready to Legally Level Up?
Before you say “yes” or prepare to do so when he proposes, ask yourself if you’re legally ready to level up. Find out if the relationship is ready for that next step by asking yourself the following questions.
How do you feel about marriage versus a long-term partnership?
Do you have the same long-term goals and lifestyle?
Do you completely trust each other?
Do you consider each other to be a best friend?
Do you feel like marrying this person would be somehow settling?
Have you thought about marriage beyond the wedding?
Are you financially prepared for the next step?
Have you talked about children, pets, and finances and come to an agreement?
Do the people you love like your partner?
Do you know how the other person handles life stress?
Have you shared space or talked about what that would be like?
Do you have realistic expectations for marriage?
Are you waiting for him to propose, or have you considered being the one to do it?
These questions will help you see if you’re ready for an actual marriage or if you just like the idea of an engagement, wedding, and wedding reception.
Tasting cake and picking out outfits is all fun and games, but marriage is hard work. It’s communication, compromise, commitment, and a continuous effort to wake up each day and love the good, the bad, and the ugly about the person you’ve chosen to partner.
It’s trusting them to wake up and love the good, the bad, and the ugly about you. Even when life gets tough. Even when you don’t really feel like being loving.
You might see the signs that he’s ready for marriage. If you do, it’s time to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. It’s possible a question is coming your way. Are you ready to answer it?
Crystal Jackson is a former therapist turned author and the author of the Heart of Madison contemporary romance series.
When she’s not writing or working on her next book, you can find Crystal traveling, paddle boarding, throwing axes badly but with terrifying enthusiasm, gardening, doing yoga, or curled up with her nose in a book in Madison, Georgia, where she lives with one puppy and two wild and wonderful children.
You can find more of her work on her personal website: crystaljacksonwriter.com.
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