Your eyes light up when she enters the room. Her energy is magnetic. You just want to get closer and spend more time with her. You’ve got a crush, but you might be wondering what are the signs she wants you to make a move.
It doesn’t matter if you’re dating her already or would just like to be dating her. It can be tough to read the room when it comes to deciding if she wants you to make a move or if you’re just projecting your wishes onto every little thing she says and does.
The good news is that there are some signs if you’re paying attention.
How to Tell if a Woman Wants You to Make a Move, By a Former Therapist
First, let’s just get this out of the way: women are not all the same. Some will be happy making the first move, others will signal you in subtle ways but wait for you to take action, and some may flat-out tell you exactly what they want without leaving you guessing.
But if you’re looking for signs, and you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t, here are a few context clues.
Why listen to me? I’m Crystal Jackson and I was a master’s level licensed therapist. I worked with couples and individuals and specialized in trauma recovery and empowerment. I now write content about relationships, self-improvement, and psychology. My work has been featured in large publications such as Elite Daily, Your Tango, Positively Positive, and Mamamia.
She Keeps Glancing Your Way
She keeps glancing your way. Every time you look at her, she seems to be looking over at you. She might be trying to be subtle about it, but you notice her attention.
Ask yourself if you’re wearing or doing anything that might naturally cause people to stare. A bright green, fluorescent mohawk would make anyone do a double take, but if she’s looking your way when you’re doing nothing to call attention to yourself, she just might hope you’ll be the one to make a move.
It’s possible that she’s shy or is trying to figure out if you’re single and/or interested in her. She might find you attractive and simply can’t help but glance your way. Are you willing to find out?
She’s Flirting with You
Flirtatious behavior is a good sign. It’s possible that she’s just a flirty person. For instance, if she’s mentioned a significant other but still seems like she’s hitting on you, it’s possible that she just has flirtatious energy that you shouldn’t take personally.
Some people flirt with everyone, and that’s just the way they work. But if she’s flirting and just so happens to mention she’s single, that’s a big clue she wants you to make your move — or she could be gauging your reaction so she can make a move of her own.
Flirty behavior indicates interest, and if you’re already out on a date, it could be a sign that she wants you to make your move. This doesn’t mean maul her at a public restaurant, so take it slow. Hand holding, a kiss, or even just moving closer to sit near her could be enough in those early stages of getting to know each other.
She’s Engaging with Your Social Media
Social media engagement is another key indicator that a woman wants you to make your move. Does she like or love your profile pictures and interact with most of your posts? It could be that she’s trying to remind you of her existence in hopes you’ll make a move.
Context matters. If she’s your friend, her interaction could be how she shows you friendly support. Everyone who likes or comments on your post probably doesn’t want your body, but someone who is interested is likely to make their presence known in your social sphere. It’s a good sign that she’s paying attention to what you post — particularly if she really loves those selfies.
She Keeps Smiling at You
A woman who keeps smiling at you might want you to make a move. Again, context is important. If she’s at work and smiling at you because you’re a customer or client, don’t take it personally. She might be trying to (a) be polite and (b) keep her job.
However, if she’s smiling at you across a room or when she’s off the clock, you can take this as a friendly overture and/or a possible sign of romantic interest.
Notice if her smile seems natural and goes all the way up to her eyes. A strained smile could indicate that she’s trying to be polite but isn’t genuinely feeling the interaction. A natural smile is a better indicator that she’s enjoying your company, especially if she lingers when she could easily extricate herself from the conversation or contact.
Recommended read: 11 Subtle Signs a Female Coworker Likes You But Is Hiding It
She Makes Steady Eye Contact with You
A steady gaze and held eye contact is often among the signs she wants you to make a move. You’ve likely experienced this in the moment before a first kiss after a date. Eye contact is held, and much is communicated in body language. She waits and keeps her eyes on yours. Will you or won’t you?
A held gaze can create a sense of intimacy. If she’s making eye contact from across the room, it could be a sign you should go start a conversation. If she’s making eye contact during the date, it could be a green light to get closer.
She Finds Excuses to Touch You
A woman with a crush will absolutely touch you even when it’s not necessary. She’ll brush your hand, sit close to you, or find subtle ways to get closer. She may not realize she’s doing it, and many men can be oblivious to these seemingly natural movements, particularly if she’s an expressive speaker.
Looking back, I can recall a relationship where I did this. Leaning into his shoulder while laughing, legs brushing when we sat down, a hug that lingered a little longer than a casual embrace, and even touching his hand all brought sparks.
While he felt the sparks, he didn’t know then that the casual touches were outside my normal way of communicating. It was only later that he discovered that I don’t interact with everyone like that. Casual touches can be a common way women communicate interest in someone.
She Responds Quickly to Messages
Someone who is interested in you just might respond quickly to messages. Her consistency and quick replies could be a good sign that she’d welcome a move if you chose to make one. While it’s possible she’s just that efficient with all of her text messages, it could be a good sign that she’s into you.
However, you do need to consider her schedule. If she’s busy at work or with other responsibilities, expecting an instant response might not be realistic. But if she tends to respond any time day or night, you probably mean a little more to her than an average acquaintance. Is it time to level up and make your move?
Her Friends Ask if You Might Be Interested
We’re not in elementary school anymore, but that doesn’t mean mutual friends won’t try to figure out if there’s interest. It could be that she’s mentioned you, and they’re trying to get a feel for your feelings about her, or she might have asked them outright to scope out the situation.
Either way, it’s not exactly the most subtle of signs that you should go for it.
While it’s not a guarantee that she’s interested in you, it does give you an opportunity to inquire if she could be. A green light from her friends could clear the way for you to make your move with a little more confidence in the outcome of your overture.
She Makes Excuses to Be Near You
She could have sat anywhere in the room, but she chooses to sit by you; she lingers when she could go; she shows up just when you so happen to be there. All these excuses to be near you are a good sign that she’d be open to you making a move.
She’s giving you plenty of opportunities to make a move. You could ask for her number, ask her out on a date, or give some kind of indication that you’d like to get to know her better.
Hanging around you longer than she has to is a key indication that she’s trying to either work up the nerve to ask you out or give you ample opportunity to communicate your interest.
She Pays Attention to Her Appearance Around You
Let’s be clear: women don’t make an effort with their appearance purely for the sake of romantic relationships. Many women enjoy fashion, makeup, and style purely for personal reasons. However, with that being said, if she’s got a crush, she is likely to make more of an effort.
This could be for multiple reasons. She could be dressing to impress and hoping you’ll notice. She might be trying to give herself a boost of confidence to make a move. And she might even hope that a little more effort on her part could tempt you to finally ask her out or communicate your intentions.
It’s also entirely possible that she just wants to look her best when she sees you even if she doesn’t have a hope in the world that you’ll ever ask her out.
She Looks at Your Lips
This is one of the most common signs she wants you to make a move.
Looking at your lips is a classic “you can kiss me” move. A woman who doesn’t want you to kiss her will not hold eye contact or glance at your lips. A woman who is hoping that you will kiss her might inadvertently dart a glance at her target.
Of course, it could also be instinctual. If you move into her space, she might be trying to gauge if you have intentions of kissing her. Read her other physical cues. If she steps back when you step in, it’s a clue for you to move back into your own space and out of hers.
But if she’s looking at your lips and even licking her own, you might be ideally placed to move in for a kiss.
She Fidgets or Plays with Her Hair
While not every woman fidgets or plays with her hair, these can sometimes be signs that she’s nervous, interested, and waiting for you to make a move. This one is tricky. She just might have anxiety. But twirling her hair or reaching up more often to play with it can often be a sign of interest.
I’m not saying you should make a move on every nervous woman you encounter, especially if it’s a windy day and she’s trying to keep the hair out of her face, but it’s definitely a sign to keep in mind.
Recommended read: 7 Clear Signs a Girl Likes You But Is Trying Not to Show It
She Makes Sure You Get Alone Time Together
A woman who wants you to make a move will orchestrate some alone time. If she keeps making sure you get time together when no one else is around, it’s very possible that she’s trying to create more opportunities for a move to be made in the relationship.
While this doesn’t mean you should round all the bases and slide into home in classic sport analogy form, it could mean that she’d like to see the relationship progress to the next natural stage.
If you’re not dating, this could be her way of showing interest and hoping you’ll pick up on and reciprocate the attraction. Alone time together could be a coincidence, but if it keeps happening, it’s possible that she’s giving you a chance to make a move if you’re interested.
What You Should Do
If you can see signs that she wants you to make a move, you’ll want to keep a few important things in mind.
Read the Room
Even if she’s interested, this doesn’t mean you should rush her or be aggressive with your next move. Read the room. Pay attention to her body language for any signs that she’s tensing up, backing away, or giving you subtle clues that she is uncomfortable.
Remember that consent should be enthusiastic and signs of discomfort should be heeded every single time.
If you’re getting all the signals but she rejects you once you make a move, respect her boundaries. It’s possible that you misread the situation — or made a move that she didn’t like. No one likes rejection, but everyone is entitled to have boundaries.
Be respectful even if your feelings are hurt or you’re confused about the signals she’s giving.
Ask if You’re Unsure
If you don’t know if she wants you to make a move, you can always ask. Clear communication is underrated and certainly under-utilized. Ask if she’s interested or would like to go out. Ask if she’d like to go home with you. If you really can’t read the signals, clarify what it is she wants. It’ll bring some relief to know, and it could help you avoid any potentially embarrassing situations.
Plus, asking shows that you understand and value consent. It could also show her that you’re willing to have the uncomfortable conversations necessary in relationships.
Just keep in mind that it’s important to be consistent when communicating. If you’re interested and reveal that by asking, don’t try to back up and pretend you were just kidding. It’s okay if you’re interested and she’s not, but don’t try to lie your way out of it if you get an answer you don’t like.
Meet Her Halfway
If you see that she wants you to make a move, you could consider meeting her halfway. Close some of the distance. Send some nonverbal signals of your own to let her know you’re open to it.
Relationships can truly stall out when both parties are waiting for the other one to make a move or send a clearer signal about what they want. Be assertive, and if you notice she’s giving you all the subtle signs, be brave. You’ll have to take a risk for a shot at a relationship’s rewards.
To Make a Move or Not: Closing Thoughts
There are a few ethical rules of thumb to follow. If you’re in a relationship, or she is, it doesn’t matter what signs she’s giving you. Don’t make a move. It’s not just disrespectful to her partner. It shows that you don’t respect yourself either. Make sure you’re both single before a move is made.
Be self-aware. If you see all the signs a girl wants you to make a move but you know she’s not good for you, be self-aware enough to make better decisions. You might have a type that tends to be unhealthy.
If you can see that a not-good-for-you person is interested, that doesn’t mean you have to make a move. You get to make healthy decisions for yourself. Don’t let a pretty face tempt you to disregard your standards.
Remember that all the signs in the world can’t predict if this relationship will work out. Try anyway. You might hit it off initially only to find out you’re incompatible. That’s okay. Isn’t it worth the risk to find out?
You can exchange heated glances all day, but if you never make a move, you’ll never know what could have happened. You might be okay with living your life in the fantasy of what might have been, but if you want the chance for a real, lasting love, you might have to stop looking and finally take that leap.
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